17 Kinds Of People In A WhatsApp Group 

Literally everyone from your tech neophyte neighbour to the garbage collector and his mother's pet are on WhatsApp. WhatsApp has truly revolutionized how we keep in touch with each other - and nowadays, you're more likely to receive a WhatsApp message than a text message. Without a doubt, WhatsApp has enforced a culture of exclusive cliques. There's no surprise then that a large majority of us Sri Lankans will at the least scratch the surface of belonging to what we’d like to call “the WhatsApp group starter pack” which comprises the holy triad: the family group, relatives group and friends group. 

Whether it's your dad's “Race Course Walker's Group” or your aunt's “Yummy Mummies” group or your own “2010 AL Buddies” group, you can bet your right arm - heck you could bet your house! - the groups will all consist of the following types of members in single or combo form. 

1. The Boss a.k.a. The Group Admin 

As the creator of the group, this person is literally God. They will take members off the group as and when they please, leaving the rest of the group at their mercy. The more awesome and exclusive the group, the more power they wield. 

2. The Planner 

This person is usually the second most enthusiastic person in the group. Whether it's that one aunty planning a high tea with her fellow group members or the mom trying to rally the family members to go to the supermarket, or the 'Anyone up for a jaunt to Unawatuna? One day trips are so fun!' prompts from that one friend, these people are in their element. Their sole purpose, it seems, is fostering group fellowship. 

3. The Party Poopers 

These people are somehow always busy. Even if it's the middle of the night, they have “other engagements”, which is usually code for “Sri Lanka vs India match is on right now” or “It’s time for my afternoon nap”. Generally, they always have a list of ingenious excuses at their disposal that get more creative the more desperate their need is to bail on the group. 

4. The Lurkers 

The ghost. The one you forgot existed. The one whose presence is never felt, but who’s quietly observing, reading every message, savouring all the drama. (And most probably making notes on individual members to use as weapons later on. Who knows?) 

5. The Religious Zealot 

This holier-than-thou individual sits comfy in their glass house and throws stones at the rest, flippantly relegating the group's members to eternal damnation. They seem to find one way or the other to drag religion into EVERYTHING, much to the chagrin of others. “Mona Enrique-da? When was the last time you’ll were this excited to go to church?” Sometimes though, they just might pity the lesser mortals of the group and be generous enough to offer their sarong as a lifeline to get into heaven. 

6. The Controversy Starter 

This person looks for a reason to start problems, making mountains out of molehills, and stepping on everyone's toes. Their unfounded sense of confidence in their argument is largely proportionate to their level of stupidity. Like Yin and Yang, for every controversy starter, there's always a stopper. This person's self appointed job in the group is to constantly put out flames and stop bridges from burning. 

7. The Periscope 

This is the one who comes through with all the hot gossip. They furnish the group with every single sordid detail about the newest object of attention “Mey, guess what! This Lalith fellow - my neighbor's son - is cheating on his girl with her bff lu. I am not surprised though, his girl is the Latha type. I would cheat on her too!! Oh and did you'll hear about...” From their super secret meetups down to the perfume bff uses, no detail is spared. They will possessively protect their network of sources though, employing a “don't ask don't tell” policy with the rest of the group. 

8. The Double Agent 

Much like the lurker, this person is a participant who barely makes their presence felt, quietly noticing, gathering intel soon to be shared with other groups. They will produce random gossip at relevant intervals so as to not draw any undue suspicions upon themselves. 

9. The Wisher 

This person only appears every morning or on special days. Their customary “Good morning beautiful family” or “Happy Birthday putha” is the only proof of their existence in the group. 

10. The Group Name Changer 

These folks constantly take it upon themselves to name the group something lame and cringeworthy such as “The Lankan rockstars” or something based off an event like “$$**Saraths Paduru Party**$$” complete with a plethora of symbols and emojis. 

11. The Lost Soul 

Constantly lost, this person is always clueless about everything from the goings on of the group to why the sun is yellow. “I don't get it aney. What on earth are you'll talking about? What happened to Lalith’s mother and bff?” 

12. The One Who's Constantly Leaving the Group 

These “serial group leavers” are always on the verge of leaving the group for the gazillionth time, because ‘they have better things to do’, then beg the admin to be let back in the second they mysteriously get a whiff of impending group drama. 

13. The Emoji Addict 

Only responds with emojis - with fellow group members having to decode the emoticons to make sense of them; the biggest culprits being teens as well as aunties and uncles who just discovered emojis. “How are you aney?”: *responds with indecipherable emoji*. “How much is 2.65x38891?”: *responds with indecipherable emoji*. 

14. The One Who Only Sends Forwards 

Their sole contributions to the group are in the forms of forwards and chain messages, and thus, they ensure the group's early demise for not forwarding that message to 10 people. Ditto those who only send either images or videos no one really wants to see. 

15. The Enthusiastic Oversharer 

If this person brushed their teeth, the group would know (ps. They use signal toothpaste). If they purchased a flower pot, the group would know. If they breathed (fresh air in the mountains of Haputale, as it turns out), the group would know. You get the gist. 

16. The Motivator 

If your phone is flooded with motivational quotes - from spiritual quotes, to misquoted quotes and everything inbetween - you can thank them for it. Most often than not, you’ll end up receive the same motivational quote - with a different font and background image. 

17. The Political Activist 

It's raining? Blame it on the government. It's not raining. Still blame it on the government. It's too hot? It's a conspiracy of political opponents. If they're not busy complaining, they're probably vociferously campaigning ad nauseam. “These bloody politicians are what's wrong with this country, machan. Such a bunch of jokers! If I was a minister, by now... 

By Rihaab Mowlana