7 Tips For Teenagers (And For Everyone Else!) 

The wonderful teenage years, full of colour and drama, bring many unforgettable memories and experiences to all. During these glorious years lifelong friendships are formed, beautiful personalities are created and unique battles are fought and won. 

The fact that teenagers are an emotional lot is universally acknowledged. Hence it is quite important that they learn the art of forming and managing healthy relationships with their friends (and ofcourse with their enemies!). Let’s look at a few key points that will help the impulsive, emotional and ever so endearing teenagers enjoy wonderful relationships, and consequently a wonderful teenage season. 

1. Never criticize the way someone looks 

You know how we say “Aiyo, you have got a pimple right in the middle of your face!” or “Why have you put on so much weight?” when we try to make small talk? Well, quit that habit, especially if you say these things to your fellow teenagers. During the teenage years everyone goes through physical changes and needless to say, everyone is quite sensitive about these changes. You will not be doing any favors to your fellow teenagers’ confidence too when you say such things to them. So try not to notice the rampant pimples or the unsightly curves on your friend’s body because those will soon fade away but the words you speak will remain unforgotten. 

2. Never take what others say personally 

Now what if you are the victim of annoying comments about your figure and face? You can certainly try talking to those who put you down directly and say “Thank you very much but I’m not bothered by my pimples or my figure or my frizzy hair!”. But as Sri Lankans we tend to shy away from direct confrontation most often than not. If you feel you are still not strong enough to defend yourself and your looks, try to stay positive and don’t allow what others say to get you down. Understand that every single person in the world has flaws in their bodies and everyone, even those who criticize you will get their fair share of criticism by likeminded folk as time goes by. 

3. Make time to connect with friends 

Lack of communication is one of the most common ways that friendships die and fade away with time; hence take time to be around your friends, especially when they need you. This is a season when hearts are broken easily and excitement is felt quite strongly so become the confidante that your friends desperately need. If you are raised by Sri Lankan parents, chances are you don’t get too much time to spend outside the house with friends. That is our culture after all, and that is how most of us have been raised anyway. But connecting with friends does not necessarily mean spending time out of the house with them. Often it is not the quantity that matters but the quality. So whenever you get a chance to talk during breaks, between lectures or when you are travelling together up and down to school, university or work, you can make sure you engage in good conversation with your friends (instead of being glued to your phone!) 

4. Keep your friend circle small 

Keeping your friend circle small does not mean evolving in to a strange, aloof creature that no one feels comfortable to approach. You can be the bubbly, friendly and warm person that you have always wanted to be but confide only in a few trusted ones. You might hate to admit this, but friendships can change with time, so be very careful about the things you say to those who are listening. It’s sometimes easier to manage problems by yourself than to clear up the messes that unfaithful friends create by spilling your secrets all over the school halls. In Sri Lanka everyone usually takes great interest in each other’s affairs so you should expect news to travel very fast. It is good to remember that if you cannot keep your own secrets, you really cannot expect others to keep yours either. 

5. Choose your friends wisely 

Some of the friendships that are created during the teen years often end up lasting a lifetime while some others bring bitter heartache and rude awakenings. So be careful when choosing your friends. Try to stay away from those who gossip too much, although their company will often be the most entertaining. Remember, if they gossip with you, they will also probably gossip about you. 

6. Become a good listener 

With all the drama that goes on in your life, it’s surely quite easy to become a ruthless talker. With all your might resist the urge to talk about yourself all the time when you get together with your friends. Carefully listen to the words that come out of your mouth and try as much as you can to make the conversations about them. This will give your friends the impression that they are important to you. However becoming a listener does not mean refraining from sharing your stories with your friends. You can do that without guilt if you also take time to listen well. 

7. Refrain from complaining too much 

Yes, you probably have too much homework, your parents may be too strict with you, you probably hate those songs that are played in the bus as you travel to school (I mean, who doesn’t?!), maybe your siblings drive you insane. But don’t let all of these issues drive your friends insane too. Try not to focus too much on the problems in your life. Instead feed yourself positive thoughts and you will soon start to radiate positivity and your friends will find it hard to resist your charm! Tell yourself that homework is part of life, your parents just love you too much and that you also may be driving your sibling crazy.( I’m sorry, I don’t know what you can say to yourself to start loving the “bus songs” though!). You may have heard the story about the two wolves that live inside your head. Try your best to feed the good one because the battle between the two is certainly on!