With a generation who’s allegedly connected to any given person in the world at any point through at least six mutual acquaintances, one would expect the quality of conversation to be at the highest levels ever seen.

Conversing in public and/or with strangers still top most average people’s list of phobias. The reason isn’t a simple one to decode, with a multitude of factors including culture, lingual capacities and circumstances greatly impacting one’s ability to carry off a successful conversation with a relative stranger.

 

Conversation like any other skill needs to be developed and requires a lot of attention. Starting off with these quick steps should throw you in the right direction to hold a conversation with that pretty girl without having to embarrass yourself.

 

 

Seek Common Ground

 

The most effective strategy to initiate or continue a conversation is to focus attention on common ground within time and space.

 

To put it simply, guide your conversation to the current situation. If you’re sitting at a pub it might be a good idea to ask whether s/he has been here before or not, on the other hand if you’re at a dental clinic you might be able to pass a comment about how seeing the dentist always scares you.

 

The reason for focusing on the current situation is to ensure relevance, you can’t go wrong commenting on the obvious.

 

 

 

General Interest

 

One way of being a good conversationalist is to keep up with the world, there’s a reason why hipsters and people living under rocks aren’t the most charismatic speakers.

 

Speech or conversation in general requires content, and content is available to those who are up to speed with regard to such things as current affairs. It might be a good idea to fit in the latest news to your list of reading material every now and again to pack up on comment.

 

Think about it, “Did you hear Justin Beiber’s new song?” will get you further than most other statements will when making conversation. 

 

 

 

Open All Ends

 

Open ended questions are the same as general questions except that it requires more detailed responses.

 

For example, “what kind of work are you doing?” requires more details than “where do you work?” and after all everything does come down to details.

 

Important point to note is how individuals who know each other well tend to branch out into conversation clusters instead of sticking to one line of conversation. The key to achieving clusters is to obtain more details.

 

 

 

 

Follow Up

 

This is obvious but it’s amazing how we miss this when we’re really awkward in a conversation. Always follow up on your previous question.

 

For example if you had asked what work s/he does it’s convenient to ask whether s/he has always been in this line of work and whether s/he intends to do it for a long time. 

 

 

 

Reactance 

 

Always react to what you hear, no one wants to talk to someone who isn’t impressed nor seemingly interested in the conversation. Exaggerated reactions in the initial part of the conversations may even ease the process of getting to know each other.

 

Jokes and insightful facts should be reacted to appropriately to encourage further conversation. 

 

   

 

 

 

 

 

 

By Dilshan Senaratne