From Rihanna to “50 Shades of Grey” author E.L James, modern art and popular media are on the fast track to exposing one of mankind’s best kept secrets; the paradox of power in relationships.
The time tested dominance of male species is under direct attack in modern times with the rug of baseless authority being pulled from under masculine feet by strong willed daughters of Eve, quickly gaining valuable foothold in the workplace as well as the household.
Granted the state of affairs, seduction should be as much a woman’s game as it is a man’s in modern times or so we should be led to believe; however researchers are confident that whatever changes may come the nature of seduction and sexual identity will remain as it always has with the man on top.
The findings may not sit well with the feminist liberals but is yet another example of how evolution has unknowingly adapted us to the absolutely best state of being from the very beginning of time without the fancy terminology and understanding that we now have at our disposal.
In what is said to be one of the most comprehensive studies carried out in modern times dealing with the area of gender identity in sexual relations, Ogi Ogas and Sai Gaddam have shed important light on key areas of sexual cues in their experiment titled “A Billion Wicked Thoughts”.
The best place to start is to look at the biology of dominance and the pleasure thus derived. 
Interestingly the human brain, much like several other mammal species, possesses a sub cortical circuitry for both dominance and submission that is attached to the brain’s pleasure centre. The conclusion to be drawn being that we derive pleasure from the act of submission as much as we do from the act of dominance.
The findings explain the rather contradictory popularity of erotic websites that deal with both male domination and submission. A vast variety of erotic sites that deal with forced feminization such as strapped in silk, are equally popular among male viewers as those sites that deal with male dominated sexual acts.
The queer contradiction is best escaped by the concept of power and its paradoxical nature. In essence submission within itself packs an element of dominance and vice versa. Unbelievable yet true.
“The desire of the man is for the woman; the desire of the woman is for the desire of the man” -
-Madame de Staël-
The words of the Swedish author are a resounding insight into the paradox of the unimaginable essence of power in submission.
In a modern day exemplification the now popular act of BDSM (Bondage Discipline Sadomasochism) comprises a dominant figure “Dom” and a submissive figure “Sub”.
Little enigma exists in the blatant authority granted on the dominant figure also known as the “Gift” however in reality the balance of power is actually in the hands (or cuffs) of the Sub.
The surprising reality of this human phenomenon lays the groundwork to explaining the much broader facet of all human interactions. The Sub has control over the Dom in a strikingly psychological level that goes beyond the superficial restraints that bind him/her.
In one aspect of BDSM practice the sub at all times has access to a “safe word” that when spoken halts the Dom in his/her aggressive tracks. The safe word grants the sub authority over the Dom in a way that is unknown to the Dom.
At all times the sub is actually in control of what takes place and even though appearances are deceiving the sub isn’t pushed beyond his/her comfort zones in relation to the Dom who continuously seeks to stay within the untold boundaries put in place by the sub.
The underlying mental restraints are much more authoritative than the physical restraints s/he is bound by.
Moving beyond fun and games the same principle applies to sexual encounters and intimate relationships that occur between men and women on a daily basis.
Men are often lulled by the false sense of security granted to them through their apparent authority in the place they’ve secured as seducers whereas women are the objects of desire with apparently very little control over the act of seduction in their evolutionary role as the seduced.
As prim and proper as it may seem on the surface the realty is far from that. Women often find themselves tangled in romances with men who dictate terms and pass judgment on their fates and are more often than not drawn to alpha males who possess qualities of dominance and strength.
Initially the act of seduction is done on the man’s terms and occurs such that the woman is the object of desire and hence objectified. However the underlying principle is that the alpha male driven by Testosterone is consumed by his desire for the woman and hence is in fact the seduced as against the seducer.
Power is the ultimate aphrodisiac
-Henry Kissinger-
In keeping with these immortal words the question arises, do women experience pleasure in the knowledge of relational power that they derive from the longing of the man who foolishly believes that he is in control? 
The answer is twofold, on a conscious level the woman has very little insight to the fact of the matter; however on a subconscious level women have tuned their pleasure centers to be receptive to a man’s longing rather than the superficial control he experiences within the relationship.
In conclusion the alpha male consumed by his desire is transformed into the stable mate of the woman’s choice in what is possibly one of nature’s greatest marvels of shaping the human psyche to ensure survival come feminism come rain.
(By Dilshan Senaratne)
0 Comments
Serena Jayasuriya says:
Jun 19, 2012 at 10:36 amThis is so well written! good job.