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Movie Review: Piranha 3DD

Aug 09 2012.

Piranha 3DD comprises the usual horror-parody symptoms: self-referential humour, a facsimiled character list of jealous jocks and vacuous virgins and a cast of B-movie mediocrities with horrifically-humongous Double-D breasts. Hell, the mere sight of Gary Busey is enough to make even the most cold-hearted critic cackle.

Me? I laughed. Occasionally.

When a multitude of menacing piranhas threatens to infiltrate and massacre the “Big Wet” waterpark’s visitors, Maddy (Danielle Panabaker) rushes to the rescue, calling for the waterpark to be shut down. Her stepfather Chet (David Koechner) and ex-boyfriend Kyle (Chris Zylka) ignore her.

A hysterical holocaust transpires, drawing Maddy and childhood friend Barry (Matt Bush) together.

Then, David Hasselhoff does the Baywatch run. (Playing himself, the Hoff satirizes his own ironic fame and his CV of cult television shows.)

Piranha 3DD was received unfavourably by critics and has thus far, returned only a quarter of its whopping $20 million budget.

Did it deserve this disappointing response? Probably.

Delving into its history revealed rather a sad revelation: Piranha 3DD is not just a sequel to a Jaws spoof, it is a sequel to the second remake of a Jaws spoof. Yes, this is Piranha picture NUMBER FOUR. It is Hollywood’s attempt at making a quick buck out of a lackluster sequel. I’m surprised they didn’t just call it Piranha 3(2)DD.

Sure, there are funny moments. During the carnage, Chet encounters a young girl crying over her mother’s dead body. Instead of consoling the child, Chet chucks a wad of dollar bills in her face. The kid responds by checking to see whether they are authentic. This is one of about four decent jokes in 82 minutes.

The rest of director John Gulager’s flick lacks true comic value and resorts to half-baked clichés, making it, well, laughable.

Review by Rehan Alexander Mudannayake

Piranha 3DD (2012)