Long gone are the complacent days when relationships were matrimonial by nature and held a permanent appeal to those involved in it.
The complexities of intimate relationships have created a diversity of different types of relationships to pick and choose from.
Psychologists are still throwing stones in the dark as to identifying the different varieties and the dynamics at play in each of them.
Dr. Douglas LaBier drafted six types of relationships in 2011 that are the operating blueprint for what is known as the relationship spectrum in modern psychology circles.
It’s Only Lust
These affairs are based on physical attraction and are extremely intense with little time elapsing between meeting each other and being madly in “love”. The reasons for relationships of this type are mainly to do with genetic similarities and other evolutionary mechanisms such as pheromones and possible Oedipal/Elektra complexes. These relationships serve to satisfy a carnal need in individuals and are quick to fade away as they are to catch fire.
I’ll Show You
Revenge is on top of the list of most powerful emotions known to man, it’s no wonder that there’s an entire type of affair based on this. These types of relationships are more to do with a past lover whose actions have essentially hurt the individual’s ego. The “I’ll Show You” relationship is an attempt to get back at the ex and will fade away as soon as the feelings for the ex disappear, at which point the affair will progress into being a real relationship or most commonly fade away. Characteristic of this kind of relationship is a search for traits that are both similar and yet stronger than the former lover’s.
This is a complex type of relationships that mainly categorize into two components. One being younger individuals who refer to this as the friend zone. The other type involves mature individuals who maintain platonic bonds. These affairs are little more than mutual attraction and a strong feeling of companionship, they never reach a physical level due either to lack of attraction or unfortunate circumstance. Examples of this type are married individuals who fall in love with others outside of their marriage and youth who can’t start a relationship due to social acceptance or peer pressure.
The Mistress
This one is self-explanatory and leads to a lot of trouble in its wake. The psychological phenomena is often that one partner believes that the other will leave their spouse for him/her at some point and till that time will maintain relations sexual or otherwise as an extra marital lover. Things have the potential of turning nasty when the actual spouse/s find out.
Having recognized the varieties there is an obvious statement that need be made. These are only the highlighting types, many mixtures of two or more of these types can exist in society.
The important thing is to identify the psychological dynamics behind the said relationship and to prepare for the potential consequences of the worst case scenario.
By Dilshan Senaratne
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