Casual sex is a topic that raises a few well poised eyebrows, known for its controversial subtext and taboo main text. Humans are very much an extension of the animal kingdom and share biomechanical preferences and habits of closely linked beasts.
The same is true when it comes to sexual practices, if at all more so than in any other regard. Humans display a striking similarity to other related mammals when considered within a sexual context and can thus be safely categorized as naturally engineered for polygamy au contraire to the monogamous practices established under society’s watchful eye.
Having leveraged slight breathing space for the amorous sexual practice, it’s mindful to practice a few well versed ethical practices when indulging in casual sex.
Don’t Mislead
A main concern when discussing the topic of engaging in casual sex with multiple partners is the betrayal of trust that often comes into play. The main reasoning behind this phenomenon that is a mixture of disappointment, insecurity and jealousy with a garnish of hatred and a dressing of betrayed trust, is the brain activity often related with sexual intercourse.
Human brains are wired to form an attachment with their sexual partners. In females this behaviour is related to ensuring security for their offspring while in men the same is attributed to competition and fear of their gene survival.
Whichever reasoning it may be that concerns you, the attachment thus formed is a result of undue expectations that are placed on the act of intercourse. Honest disclosure of your intentions before the deed will ensure no feelings are hurt nor trust betrayed.
The best policy of honesty will also help prevent any homicidal or suicidal attempts in the future. Furthermore the no strings attached insight might actually spice up the night’s proceedings, considering no impressions need be made save that of satisfaction.
Make sure that said disclosure of intentions come out of the moment and within a sober a setting. A casual mention of the fact that you’re just in it for the sex might not be opportune if s/he’s already in bed or a serious relationship with you.
Simply put, this isn’t something you mention to her parents as part of your dinner time small talk, make sure your partner is in the know as to what your intentions are very early on in the relationship (if you can call it one).
If you’re currently seeing multiple partners and/or sleeping with them, make sure to mention this to your partner. Some individuals, yours truly included might not take too well to suddenly finding certain things in the middle of a steamy session.
And most people I know will not be very happy with the revelation of knowing where your hands have been before. This is a serious concern both in terms of ethical practice and hygiene factors.
Contrary to your repeated disclosures of intention it is possible that your partner will assume that you’re more interested than you actually might be, I know your thinking that’s his/her fault. You’re only responsible for what you said, not what s/he understood but truth is you might have led him/her to believe that there is something more by engaging in pillow talk or cuddling a little too long.
The human condition of being unable to live with walls around you might actually cause more damage than you imagine. And also, even if you have a purely physical relationship with someone, there isn’t a reason why you shouldn’t be able to maintain an insightful conversation of appropriate depth with the said person. The only determining factor as to its ethical validity is whether or not both of you are on the same page.
On a concluding note, a human relationship whatever its nature may be is a rewarding one and a mandate given our social nature. Try to make the best of it. Live and let live.
By Dilshan Senaratne
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