'Dr. Pat’s Sex Clinic'

 

For the next few weeks, I want to discuss some questions that teenagers have asked me. Some of the questions are more relevant to teen girls and others to teen boys. But all questions raise important issues. Read them all whether you are a girl or a boy. These and many other issues of teenage are explored in the book.

So, if you have a teenage son or daughter, or maybe are a teenager yourself, then write to me with your questions and I’ll attempt to answer them in the column.

 

 

 [Girls] I’ve not had sex. How do I know that sex will be great when I get married?

 

 

 

Sex can be great, even if intercourse is less than perfect at the beginning. It very much depends on you and your partner.

The first thing is to be certain you both understand what sex means. 

Yes, sex in marriage will include intercourse. It will also be touches, cuddles, body massages and kisses and maybe oral sex and lots more. All this is sex. It is particularly important that a man understands this. So talk about it with your fiancé before you get married.

In a marriage, sex between husband and wife is about bringing the best out of the other person and giving them pleasure. It is a sweet mutual surrender of man and woman. It is NOT a selfish act of self-gratification.  When a couple understand this, then they will be careful to take the time to pleasure each other and arouse each other before intercourse.

Males are aroused quicker than females. It’s a little like he’s the quick heating microwave and the female is the slow heating oven. A man must take the time to arouse the woman. All too often we see women in our consultation rooms who tell us that their partners are only interested in intercourse. That they “make a dive for the vagina” and it’s all over.

Intimacy rather than intercourse is the ultimate focus of sex, with pleasure as important as function, and mutual emotional acceptance the best environment for your lovemaking. Don’t be afraid to experiment. Talk about what turns you on – and off. Share feelings. Be gentle with each other and learn to love each other’s bodies.

Once you and husband understand this, then you will lovingly and patiently take the time to get to know each other’s body.  You will both enjoy the journey rather than strive for the perfect orgasm experience.  And in doing so – you will both have great sex.  It is truly worth the wait.

 

 

 

Please send any questions you have to  [email protected]. I will answer these as best I can.

PATRICIA WEERAKOON IS A MEDICAL DOCTOR TURNED SEXOLOGIST AND WRITER BASED IN SYDNEY, AUSTRALIA