“The Patch Devil”
"If they took all the drugs, nicotine, alcohol and caffeine off the market for six days, they'd have to bring out the tanks to control you!”, said Dick Gregory, an American Comedian once. Forget six days; make it less than 8 good hours in a confined aircraft - agitated smokers start fidgeting, snorting, constantly complaining and even try to have a smoke secretly, despite the fire risk it may impose to the aircraft.
When the fire alarm goes off at 30,000 ft, it is not funny. If the fire is excessive and unstoppable it may lead to an emergency landing. With the risk of a fire, and many lives at stake, smoking is not a good idea on an aircraft no matter how tempting it may be.
Shanghai, the vibrant city of the dragons was awaiting our arrival and as our aircraft was half way down the route, a passenger started panicking. “I’ve lost it!” “I’ve lost it!” he repeated continuously, and when approached by the crew he was almost screaming out loud with tears in his eyes “I’VE LOST IT!” “Yes we can see that you have lost it sir, but would you mind kindly telling us what exactly you've lost?”one cheeky crew member asked him, with the hope of bringing a smile to his face.
Retorting in anger he screamed “I’ve lost my patch!” It was certain now that he had in fact lost his dear patch, which helped him to keep calm during the flight. Having four more hours to go, all of us started looking for his precious patch, to save him from distress that was yet to follow. Unfortunately we weren’t successful. Soon he was getting angry at crew members, passengers around him, and refusing to eat or drink.
The crew had to guard the lavatories whenever he decided to sneak a smoke in there. The smoke alarm went off 5 times during those 4 hours, and luckily there wasn’t significant fire to deal with, but it led us to warning this passenger well.
He was clearly suffering from the withdrawal effects, and it was difficult for him. The gentleman was in tears, crying like a baby, and we ended up pacifying him with more cups of coffee than a usual passenger would drink. However he was a nuisance to the people around him too.
If he had controlled his insane behaviour without a smoke for just four hours inside the aircraft, I am certain he wouldn’t have ever smoked again.
However it is always easier said than done. No matter how educated people are about the unhealthy side effects of smoking, once addicted they seem to always find it hard to abstain.
In the end he was rushing out the aircraft, toppling on bags and people. He ran and ran with a bright smile on his face and it made me wonder why on earth he hadn't brought a spare patch with him.
Love, Dany
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