In an age where equality of sexes is a fiercely controversial topic female sexuality and its expression remains one of the spheres in which the scales just don’t balance.

Oscar Wilde once wrote; “I am afraid that women appreciate cruelty, downright cruelty, more than anything else. They have wonderfully primitive instincts. We have emancipated them, but they remain slaves looking for their masters all the same”

The extent to which he deciphered the female desire to be dominated is questionable in an age where women are fast racing their male counterparts in every aspect of everyday life inclusive of primarily male domineered professions and academic circles. However Psychologists in recent years have shed light on findings in human sexuality that may agree with Wilde in his interpretation of the female primal need.

Charles Darwin’s Origin of Species (1859) and his theory of evolution through natural selection still remains the most elaborate explanation of life on Earth as we know it. A well known fact is that species maintain basic instincts of survival long past the original context of learning the said instinct or behavioral pattern, this phenomenon is known as genetic memory and is cited largely as explanation for many social behaviors in humans and other animals. Examples of genetic memory are largely observable in our inherent fear of darkness and heights. These situations often trigger a physiological reaction in us that is explained by instinctual knowledge.

The unlikely connection between Wilde’s statement with regard to women and Darwin’s theory of evolution lies in what appears to be trace biological memories that drive the emancipated women of the current day to succumb to attractions in their mates that may seem uncharacteristic of their struggle to be seen as equals in this day and age.

However not all traits seen in female desire could be accounted for by evolutionary instinct a grand example of this exception is learned behavior and self fulfilling prophecies that prey on even the most liberal modern day femme psyches. A set of the most popularized and influential however could be listed out as follows;

Madonna and the Whore  

In early Judaic theology sexual expression and particularly female sexuality is largely stifled and governed by a code of ethics that in contemporary settings are known as puritan views. Over the years and with the development of freely available contraception these views and moral code has been largely disregarded however the psychological dent is in place long after the behaviors have been altered.

Even in modern day civilization men often categorize women in distinct extremes and often find it difficult to attain the appropriate mid ground. Women themselves are partially to be blamed for the continuance of this mental schema owing to their innate tendency to portray one of these two extremes as expected of them.

The resulting consequence being that men are encouraged to degrade and easily lose respect for women they see as bringing to life the “whore” stereotype and women often finding themselves in abusive relationships that they won’t leave due to the instinctual compulsion to thrive to attain the Madonna image. Denial and self blame are major characteristics of the Madonna-Whore complex in women while men suffer from an inability to desire what they love and vice versa.
 

Disney Brain Wash

Over the years Disney has played a large pivotal role in determining social expectation unique to genders. From Snow White to Cinderella to the Little Mermaid Disney with or without intending to present young impressionable minds with their first taste of gender stereotyping quickly followed by Barbie and Batman. The portrayal of female characters as damsels in distress largely dominated and decided for by their princes in shining armor broadcasts a message of male dominance that is adopted in the kitchen and the bedroom.

Sexual expression is largely stifled by popular media from very young ages and making it inevitable to drop into a Madonna-Whore complex in adult life.

Darwinian Providers

The caveman instinct in men has remained to the most part in modern day men evident in many if not all spheres of their lives from their preference of violent movies to video games. Similarly the maternal collector mentality of women too has remained unharmed beneath the feminist exteriors. It isn’t uncommon to find violent men being sought as the object of many a woman’s attraction given the large possibility of the relationship being intense and short lived more often than not causing complications for the woman who will be abused and left behind.

The appeal of a “manly” man is universal and often packs the same conditions. In a given setting 10,000 years ago a strong man would’ve been the best bet at survival for a woman and submission to his authority seemed inevitable however the strong compulsion that women carry subconsciously to the present day is detrimental to the struggle for equality.

In conclusion the struggle for equality for the fairer sex is as much a conflict with the male race as it is with their subconscious kinks. And the sooner they overcome these instincts to be submissive the sooner they’ll achieve true equality and peace of mind.

By Dilshan Senaratne