Some might say infidelity is a growing concern in modern society, but in my opinion it really isn’t a problem anymore. Infidelity has grown beyond the parameters of being considered a problem and is now safely reaching the harbours of what one might consider to be a socially normalized phenomenon.

Everyone knows someone who was cheated on or cheated in a monogamous relationship, that is if they haven’t partaken in one of the two circumstances themselves.

The central point of infidelity largely centers on deception, in reality the entirety of analyzing infidelity should base itself on the sexual relations that occur in the extramarital affair, not the affair itself.

 

 

 

It’s all about the sex

 

 

 

As controversial as that statement might be, it’s a fairly valid one. A statistic offered in the Psychotherapy Networker article "The New Monogamy" points out that 35 to 55 percent of people having affairs report they were happy in their marriage at the time of their infidelity.

 

A significant portion of infidelity occurs due to attraction not dissatisfaction with their current state of being. Humans much like the other species they resemble aren’t designed biologically to maintain monogamous relationships, but instead are better suited to be polygamous by nature.

 

The crushing blow to our romanticism offers a validated explanation as to why relationships should be viewed with a more open minded attitude.

 

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Swingers

 

 

Couples who engage in sexual intercourse outside of their relationships at the discretion of their partners are viewed as less likely to cheat and least insecure.

 

Within the constraints and concerns of culture, it’s important to note that the conclusion shouldn’t be to consider the extreme but to adjust viewpoints to suit the benefits. Seth Meyers (Psy.D) in his journal “Swingers: Mentally Healthier Than Monogamous Peers” mentions that in his clinical experience, he has noted the differences between swinging couples and monogamous couples as being many and varied, going to the extent of stating that the lack of judgment and insecurity shown by swingers suggest that they’re mentally healthy.

 

On the note of a personal opinion it might also be that the lack of boundaries takes away from the thrill of crossing the said boundaries.

 

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Flipside

 

 

 

Nothing that is orthodox in modern society is a coincidence, there are reasons why monogamy is the preferred way of life in many cultures.

 

Swinging may enjoy the live and let live attitude, but also face many pitfalls such as sexually transmitted diseases and unplanned births which lend way to baseless family structures.

 

Though a free minded lifestyle may offer greater freedom and ergo reduced levels of relationship anxiety to the individual, the social predicaments thus exerted may be irreversible.

 

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Cultural adaptation

 

It’s important to draw from science but evaluate within respective cultures. Should a swinger’s lifestyle be considered healthier in terms of psychological stress, maybe it’s just a matter of adopting a few of their ideals.

 

The main operating theme of a swinger lifestyle is freedom and a lack of enforced limitation. While a certain level of boundaries are essential it might be a possibility to provide a more relaxed grip on fidelity, cutting back on jealousy and insecurity.

 

A second largely important ideal practiced by swingers is the variety in terms of sexual excitement, though a weekly extramarital affair might be taking it too far, it might be helpful to establish a date night where both partners are open to new experiences.

 

 

In conclusion, it’s important to find the right balance between idealism and conservatism to ensure long lasting relationships that are both satisfying and socially acceptable.

 

 

 

 

 

By Dilshan Seneratne