He strikes fear in the hearts of many and drives a winding stake into the hearts of the rest, from Casanova to the boy next door, players occupy a significant portion of society’s attention; a remarkable feat considering the negativity that is attached to these archetypes.

 

Little thought is ever given to the details that contribute to someone being regarded as a player when most of attention is fixated on his spiteful deeds. This is a shame considering that from a psychological perspective players are of the most complex kind and much could be said about his personality.

 

Initial analysis of a player would come across with him being described as popular, good looking and confident or in certain cases charismatic. The most interesting fact about players is that like any paradox, a player is none of these things and is a complete contradiction to his surface exterior.

 

Most players with a few exceptions are very unsure of themselves and tend to set on a journey seeking external proof and validation to support their strength and self worth. Approval is the name of this game and contributes to the self image that the player is trying to maintain by collecting as many admirers as possible. 

 

Contrary to very popular belief players feel unloved and insecure of their relationships, especially the intimate ones. This insecurity drives them to try and attain some level of security as a loved person. A player’s short attention span also stems from this trait of his. He needs constant validation and assurance that he is loved and desired, a need that is rarely met in a long term relationship. This causes the player to cheat or leave his partner in search not of new partners but renewed approval. 

 

 

 

 

Womanizers are the least secure type of people that are around. Many are insecure about their looks while some might be unsure of their worthiness or other factors. Like the friendless loner who spends his day buried in his work, the player too occupies himself in the one way he is sure to gain approval and a sense of self worth resulting in him getting a reputation for it. This reputation also known as social proof helps him get on with life comforted by the hearts he break.

 

A very attractive and complex factor that might contribute to player like behaviour is identity incongruence. II is a psychological condition that lends itself to many co-morbidities and natural pre dispositions including inappropriate social behaviour. A lack of confidence in their own identity causes a great deal of anxiety and leaves individuals confused as to what they need in life.

 

Major decisions such as marital affairs and personal relationships come under direct attack in this condition and as a result cause a constant and incessant lack of solidarity in decisions made by the individual. Players of this nature are often helpless in their condition and may be unable to help the boredom that creeps into their love life. The boredom in this case is a symptomatic manifestation of their condition. 

 

A final rather sad factor that may groom a player is a messed up family life or life in general. Players of this type may try to focus their attention on gaining a much needed sense of control through their womanizing.

 

In extreme cases these players might live out their personal insecurities within the constraints of their relationships and when one grows bland may move on with little regret or empathy for the damage he leaves in his wake. These individuals are also likely to be unable to take well to rejection and may display violent behavioural patterns and very compelling attempts to engage one in an intimate relationship.