Jun 04 2012.
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The complexity of man boils down to a few key facts setting up the often eluding boundaries between our evolutionary roots and the modern day homo-sapiens. In an age of intellectual revelation, man often backtracks his steps in showcasing parallels to the animal kingdom more often than not, causing controversial debates on the viability of humanity being as large a leap from our animalistic origins as we would be comfortable believing.
In times like these, a few defining factors provide the pedestal on which humanity is elevated as supreme dictator of nature and all of its other inhabitants. These factors loosely translate to matters pertaining to life, love and death.
Psychologists have often revealed frightening similarities between love psychosis and cocaine addiction. However, love makes the list of defining characteristics that place humans in the hot seats of their natural habitat followed by death, another phenomenon that demands attention. Man is the only organism that weathers the knowledge of his inevitable death while all other living organisms continue oblivious to their impending ends.
Among the said factors, love falls under scrutiny most often and with most intensity even among our own considering its often conflicting nature and ambivalence. Thus raising the question, does love really exist or is love a collection of delusions that we undergo in an attempt to find meaning in an otherwise primal existence.
Romantic interest is often quoted and debated in almost any context of human life. The exclusivity of the emotion to the human kind often is reason enough to pay undue amounts of attention to the matter. While all other living things mate and go through the motions of sexual relations for the purpose of procreation, the human emphasis on the matter transcends other survival mechanisms such as food and sleep; which in the animal kingdom are as important in the game of survival as sex.
Regardless of the answer to the question of whether or not true love exists beyond the parameters of our minds, there are a few blatant lies that we tell ourselves in the name of love. Whether it be our mind playing tricks on us or sheer social pressure distorting reality, a few of love’s secrets aren’t rainbows and roses.
Idealization
"Many a man has fallen in love with a girl in a light so dim he would not have chosen a suit by it."
Maurice Chevalier
Love is what makes the best of us blind in the light of many shortcomings, sugarcoating often harsh realities that would deter us from undertaking tasks we oh so willingly undertake when we are in love. Positive idealization is central to the phenomenon that is love, creating the perfect stage on which to carry out the compelling theatrics.
Idealization occurs as a result of an individual falling in love with a schema or mental representation of what they imagine their lover and relationship to be. The result being that the said individual falls in love with the idea of being in love and with the perfect partner often influenced by their own desires which they project onto their partners.
The discrepancy between the delusion and reality often goes unnoticed for months on end and makes a slow painstaking journey of realization; wherein the individual slowly attains the realization of the incongruence between their partner’s reality and the idealized version of him/her. Men are found to be more susceptible to the delusional tendency than their fairer counterparts.
Gender Stereotypes
“Genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist.”
Robert Downey Jr.
Gender stereotypes are a common blind spot in most of the civilized world; wherein we fit each encounter with an individual into a gender stereotype that they satisfy. Later, narrowing it down to stereotypes; stemming from their race, social class, economic state and context of interaction.
Gender stereotypes in romantic relationships often involve such types as the artist, the bad boy, the player and the nice guy for men; while the hard to get, the slut, the intelligent and the groupie are stereotypes for women.
The implications of these stereotypes find themselves in the criteria they satisfy, thus rendering them as positive or negative. For instance, a woman who identifies her “type” as attracted to bad boys, will be hesitant to romantically attach herself to a guy she perceives as a nice guy based on first impressions; even though the same guy may possess traits that she will categorize as fitting of her tastes. The bias occurs due to the tendency of human nature to portray every interaction with a set stereotype for ease of understanding and relating.
Parental Influence
“Being in love with the one parent and hating the other are among the essential constituents of the stock of psychical impulses which is formed at that time and which is of such importance in determining the symptoms of the later neurosis” Sigmund Freud
Decades following the controversial Freudian claim that we are in fact infatuated by our parents at a very young age; scientists continue to unravel evidence that suggests a frightening correlation between mate selection and parents. Even though the phenomenon is explained as a natural occurrence due to similarity of genetic structure and higher compatibility; the fact remains that parental deprivation or over indulgence may cause severe distortions in our perception of compatibility between romantic partners.
The implications lie in a society where a considerable amount of marriages end in divorce. The missing father figures may cause strong compulsions that attract us to traits which have no basis in our wellbeing or compatibility.
In conclusion, the message is loud and clear. Before you let yourself be swept off your feet by prince charming whose white horse resembles an ass with a bad paint job, stop and clear your head before you take a good hard look at him and then by all means be swept off and away to your very own happily ever after.
(By Dilshan Seneratne)
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Sunimal Alles says:
Jun 05, 2012 at 12:54 amHOW TO FIND YOUR SOUL MATE RAPIDLY AND EFFICIENTLY
This was placed to enable those who face issues related to unbalanced human relationships overcome their pain. Living in painful emotional conditions does not enable us to live our purpose in life.
To know more about finding your soulmate, please read the full article at:
http://bluechicbug-echoesfromwithin.blogspot.com/2009/10/how-to-find-your-soul-mate-finding-your.html
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