Love is the most widely studied social phenomenon in the modern day world. With billions of dollars invested in making the perfect match and maintaining it universally, love has made its way to being one of the most alluring aspects in our pursuit of happiness.

Never before has the need to understanding love been more emphatic than in this day and age. Considering the psychological nature of intimate love, a psychological explanation to love is the most fitting.

The existing interpersonal explanation on love was one presented in a three pronged model of love as put forward by Robert J. Sternberg, known better as Sternberg’s triangle which placed consummate love on a pedestal supported by three factors.

As per his model of intimacy long term relationships were composed by three facets commonly known as commitment, passion and intimacy. The model further identifies four types of love that occur due to the existence and absence of one or more of these facets.

Infatuation

Infatuation also known as infatuated love is composed of a lack intimacy and commitment and is seen commonly throughout society. Even though infatuation is mostly observable among teenagers and young adults it is not exclusively reserved to them.

The lack of intimacy accounts for an inability for the relationship to grow beyond its current state and is severely limited in the spheres of intellectual stimulation and bonding, furthermore the absence of commitment causes a severe vulnerability in the infatuated relationship rendering the individuals unable to handle social pressures and obstacles that may be thrown in their path.

Needless to say the existence of passion may cause for significantly positive sexual relations between the lovers and in the absence of other ingredients may result in the lovers placing undue importance in the physical aspect of their relationship. The implications may be more complex than it appears at first glance specially considering the biological theme underlying passion resulting in these relationships turning into unhealthy compulsions that are difficult to break off while also ending in negative circumstances when they do eventually run their course.

However on the bright side many relationships begin on an infatuated note and go on to develop the other necessary facets. In summary infatuation is attraction void of deeper bonding.

Companionate Love

Companionate love is an interesting type of affection that transcends strong friendships only by means of its heavy emphasis on long term commitment. Passion is the missing ingredient in this type of relationship and is often observed among mature couples whose marriages have lost their spark but a deep affection and sense of obligation fuels the relationship.

Responsibility is a strong underlying theme of these interactions. The implications however are in the difficulty to renounce physical yearning for passion and the excitement that comes with it. Often individuals in these relationships turn to extra marital affairs to rekindle the flair in their lives.

These affairs complicate circumstances when and if brought to life by betraying the trust that is a strong affinity in the companionate relationship. On a positive note should the individuals overcome the lack of passion the relationship has the potential to evolve into one that stands the test of time against the stronger odds.

Fatuous Love

Fatuous love is the most familiar type of love to individuals in the modern times; whirlwind Hollywood romances are the best examples of fatuous love which is defined as love based on passion and commitment. Sexual compatibility often is mistaken for intimacy and vows are exchanged before realization dawns. These relationships are characterized by compelling stories of how they first met and little else in between that first meeting and the spectacular wedding reception.

A basic lack of intimacy is the common theme in these high powered sexually charged relationships that occur among individuals that are financially secure and able to stand tests of social and divine pressure through sheer good fortune and circumstance. The growths of these relationships are limited to first glances and first impressions and makes for glitzy ninety minute scripts.

The implication however being should misfortune strike them the knowledge they have of each other are severely limited and very little information is shared between the couple outside of romantic seductions and generous material gestures. On a silver lining these individuals may learn to grow as a couple as time passes and achieve the intimacy they lack or live their lives in blissful ignorance.

Consummate Love

Consummate love is the whole package so to speak, a well rounded complete experience of intimacy and passion with a strong foundation of commitment. Recurring themes of these relationships are often the stuff of fairy tales and are rarely based on true stories.

These perfect relationships last the tests of time and make for ideal marriages in terms on compatibility and long burning fires of attraction that go beyond intense sexual experiences. In theology consummate love is the ultimate and absolute expression of the divine nature inherent in man.

Sadly this type of relationship is fast losing numbers to the point of extinction, and the best we can hope for is to develop on our flawed concepts of love to reach this state of being one day.

(By Dilshan Seneratne)