Every relationship starts with that first step. It rarely matters who makes it or how it’s made. Unfortunately though this first step is also the sticking point for most people and possibly ranks among the top reasons why so many soul mates are passed up on. Human adaptability however has made its way to save the day and the genius brain child of its brilliance comes in the form of pick up lines!
Not the answer you were hoping for but fear not, with a little background knowledge on how these lines work you’ll be well on your way to making the first step you should’ve made last week.
Warning!
A word of warning though, there isn’t a substitute for confidence and by the looks of it, there never will be. Even the best of pick up lines will fail if there isn’t a quantifiable amount of confidence driving the force. So it might be a good idea to work on your self-projection before you let loose a corny pick up line in the wild.
Types
Much of what is known today regarding pick up lines are data gathered by Chris Kleinke (Google him) who studied the effectiveness of 100 pick up lines in the mid 80’s and came up with a range of data including the three main types of openers.
Direct Gambits (ie: You probably get this a lot but I would like to buy you a drink)
Direct gambits are rarely used but are in my personal opinion one of the most effective of the three types. Granted a direct gambit isn’t for everyone and requires a high level of self confidence, but it also offers the benefit of portraying one’s personal charisma in an almost intimidating way.
The study previously mentioned found that direct gambits fared quite poorly when compared to the other types however the direct more honest approach was viewed in the light of a long term relationship than a fling.
Innocuous Gambits (ie: What do you think is the best item on the menu?)
An innocuous gambit as it is known was found to be the best type of opener as per the study that was conducted. The downside of this type of opener is that if done inappropriately the chances of coming across as a creep are relatively higher.
So in a way the upside is that the type of lines offer less margin of rejection due to the ambiguity of your intentions (You might genuinely want to know what to order) while the downside is that unless you ask an appropriate question things might go downhill a little quicker than expected.
Flippant Gambits (ie: Do you have any raisins? No? How about a date?)
When you think flippant openers always think Howard from popular TV show Big Bang Theory cos chances are you probably won’t be able to pull off a Barney Stintson. The difference between the two fictional characters really is the difference between a good flippant and a bad one, trust me when I say this there isn’t much in between. First and foremost both characters have a markedly thick skin, and this is a pre requisite if you decide to go with a flippant.
The reason is simple, flippants are shortcuts and like any shortcut the level of risk is significantly higher. So be prepared to have a few free drinks thrown in your face! On a slightly positive note however the effort has a fairly strong chance of going rewarded. Research shows that individuals who respond to flippant gambits are more often than not looking for a one night stand or a fling and is likely to find appeal in humor.
The three types each have their own pros and cons and can be best described as three routes to a common destination. Experiment and try at your own risk, if you’re seriously considering using one leave a comment below for another post on how and why pickup lines work. But brace yourself for a crash course on cognitive psychology (not for the faint at brain). Happy hunting.
By Dilshan Senaratne
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