The athlete mixed marriage is one where the spouse of an athlete is a non athletic one and the phenomenon does carry weight offering insight to otherwise hard to spot issues and the underlying benefits.

An important aspect of understanding the framework within these relationships is that the principles apply to any marriage where one partner is more occupied than the other be it a housewife-executive relationship or an air hostess-freelancer one.

 

 

The Pursuit of Distance

 

One of the many difficulties found in not just this type of relationship but universally is where one partner seeks to be more engaging and the other seeks solace in distancing him/her self. The reason for this difference in behaviour is that some individuals are more likely to be more comfortable being alone, an introverted behaviour while others (extraverts) are more likely to seek company when in distress.

 

Introverts by nature have high amounts of brain arousal which further skyrocket in times of distress ergo needing time to themselves in order to recover while in contrast extraverts have lower brain arousal level and are comfortable seeking company.

 

Within an athlete mixed marriage context the athlete is more likely to seek comfort in his/her sport while in a more realistic platform s/he is likely to engage in his/her work with ardent interest. 

 

The Rub Off

 

A benefit of this mismatch is that the not so athletically inclined partner is salvaged by association. What I mean is that the spouse of an athlete will pick up a few good habits at least by the virtue of sheer compulsion.

 

Think about it two couch potatoes are more likely to feed each other crisps while they laze around whereas an athlete is more likely to drag his/her spouse on one of his ten mile runs.

 

On a deeper level individuals who are committed to the love of their game/profession are more likely to inspire and motivate those around them to achieve more, a worthy trade off for the couch potato if you ask me.

 

The Balance

 

If I had to pick I’d say two athletes are a match made in heaven, but it’s true that being in the same profession be it athletically or otherwise fosters a level of competition which might not be healthy for all individuals. In a way the couch potato contributes to the athlete’s wellbeing as much as the athlete contributes to the potato’s wellbeing. As unlikely as this scenario appears to be it’s true that there is such a thing as excess arousal.

 

Most athletes of our generation, a generation where Olympians are said to be operating at 98% human capacity; are highly motivated individuals with little regard for personal safety outside of what may warrant that they stay away from competition. With an increasing preference to engage in illegal steroids, athletes are fast displaying a “no holds barred” attitude with regard to their performance, something they share in common with workaholic executives.

 

In a way that athletically non inclined partner might be the escapism which keeps the athlete going and what s/he looks forward to coming home to. On a more obvious note the athlete will provide much needed motivation to his/her partner pushing him/her to achieve things which otherwise might never be achieved. Truly an athlete mixed marriage or relationship is a rewarding one.      

 

 

 

 

 

By Dilshan Senaratne