Dating is fast becoming a feared field of life where casualties are tolling increasingly higher thanks partially to a technologically advanced society whose pace is becoming harder and harder to match. The intimidation of dating in today’s world stems from a variety of reasons that add up to overwhelming expectations placed on simple encounters with severe time constraints. Long gone are the days of old when time was well spent courting damsels against impossible odds.

 

Romeo today would ask Juliet to sign a pre-nup before he wooed her with mistyped Facebook messages whose contents made little sense. The task of dating isn’t a science that can be taught but more an art that need be mastered; however a few simplifications in the complexities could come in handy.

 

Conversation is a prime difficulty in modern day courting rituals and often spells an end to a date that had barely begun. Awkward silences, embarrassing miscommunications and offensive comments all make up the bore that is a failed conversation. A few million dollar questions could lead you in the right direction:

 

 

What is a fond childhood memory that’s stood the test of time?

 

This question follows an important concept in NLP that qualifies it to be an ideal opening question. The intimacy of the question grants a somewhat personal touch to the conversation while ensuring the question is appropriate and will not be taken negatively.

 

The added benefit being that the happy memory will bring joyous emotions flooding back setting an optimistic ambiance not only to the date but also to her perspective of you. With any luck she will associate that happy memory with you in the future.

 

 

If money weren’t an obstruction; where would you go on a holiday, and what would you do?

 

The question is a treasure trove in disguise and explores whether or not she is willing to take risks in her life. A judgment needs be made depending on her response.

 

If she mentions bungee jumping in Barcelona, it’s safe to assume that she is an extravert who will be more than willing to take risks; on the other hand if she mentions rainy weather in Paris holed up with a good book, the lady has a touch of introversion that might go with a reserved and somewhat cautious personality.

 

 

What’s your sign? What does that mean?

 

This might seem a fairly silly question but is in fact one of the best questions to ask if you’re interested in knowing what she is like. Astrology is a common delusion which may or may not have truth in it, regardless the traits that one identifies with as belonging to members of his/her sign are often the defining characteristics that they admire in themselves and most often in others.

 

It’s a popular concept in cold reading that we remember hits more than we do the misses, therefore this question will reveal all traits that she finds as being accurately descriptive of her.

 

 

What’s your idea of a perfect date?

 

This is a personal favorite that sheds light on valuable insights which may point you in the right direction on your current date and future ones.

 

After you hear her response it might be smart of you to incorporate a few subtle elements that she mentioned in your current date. An example would be if she had mentioned red wine it’ll do well to suggest a nightcap at the new wine bar that’s close by.

 

 

Do you like beer?

 

As surprising as this may be, a positive response to this question according to researchers may indicate a higher chance of the first date ending with a sexual encounter. In the report titled “ten charts about sex” Harvard graduate Christian Rudder claims that findings indicate a high correlation with a positive answer to this question and first date sex.

 

 

A word of caution, these questions should be spaced out sparingly over a lengthy conversation and should under no circumstance be fired one after the other. It’s important to engage in a conversation following each response you receive probing, discussing and challenging her viewpoints. Discussions and differences in opinion are very important elements of getting to know each other.    

 

 

 

 

 

By Dilshan Seneratne