Asking a girl if you can kiss her ranks high on the stupidest things a man can do, and with due reason.
There’s very little good in asking the question considering a girl who doesn’t want to kiss you will most likely not be in a place where you can kiss her and if she doesn’t want to kiss you, you will know soon enough.
Men do a range of silly things in the name of chivalry, but chivalry if dead died for a reason. When used responsibly a little bit of chivalry can go a long way in charming a woman, but in this day and age, certain chivalrous moves are just plain condescending. Here’s a quick list of dos and don’ts in the art of chivalry.
Do: The Guiding Hand
A well placed hand on the small of her back is the epitome of marking your territory and sending a message home. The gesture is a sign of security and protection that most women appreciate. This is especially true in crowded place like a club where a guiding hand is often seen as a gesture of securing her against an onslaught of would be creeps. The risk on the other hand (no pun intended) is that a badly placed hand or making the gesture too soon will scoot you over to the creep land as well.
Don’t: Write Love Letters
Love letters, e-mails and most written forms should be used sparingly, especially in initial stages of a relationship. A three page e-mail about how much you like her is going to come across a little creepy after the first two times she reads it. If she isn’t convinced about how creepy it is, her friends will make sure that she knows when she reads it to them.
Do: Open Doors
Opening a door for a girl goes a long way. The very chivalrous gesture makes a lasting impression. It goes beyond merely holding a door open, it goes to the point of making an effort to walk over to the other side and open a car door or hold a chair for her at the restaurant. It’s really a little gesture but a powerful one nevertheless. In addition to being a well-mannered act it also scores points for being alpha male material.
Don’t: Flash Your Wallet
Paying the bill is a little tricky, mainly since different girls have subjective opinions about this one. Where a young girl would be flattered by you footing the bill, a more independent older woman will be offended. It’s a good idea to play it by ear and offer to pay, but if she insists on paying for herself it might serve you well to let her do as she pleases. However on special occasions it might be a given that you treat her and can dictate terms over the situation.
Do: Safe Side of the Road
Much like holding the door, letting her walk on the inner side of the sidewalk is another small gesture that scores major points. But it might be a good idea to be gentle and come across as protective rather than to push her around on the road. However it’s very easily a chivalrous gesture that has little chance of going wrong.
Don’t: Always Give-in
It’s a stupid idea to let a girl win at games and debates all the time for two reasons. One; she’s going to know you’re letting her win and it’s very offensive considering that you’ve already judged yourself as being better than her. Two; where’s the fun in the game if she knows she’s going to win. Always do your best and beat her if you can but don’t be over competitive. The rule applies to hand wrestling, political debates and anything in between.
By Dilshan Senaratne
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