A startling 30% - 60% of married individuals residing in the USA engage in infidelity at some point of their lives according to a study carried out recently. The findings have caused much controversy sparking research into why men and women cheat on their partners.

The most blatant answer from a very Darwinian perspective is that monogamy was never the plan for mankind. Research indicates that only 3%-5% of species in the animal kingdom practice monogamy and only 15% of our ancestral primates are under oath till death does them apart, concluding that by nature humans weren’t meant to find their soul mate and live happily ever after.

However the concept of marriage is deeply engrained in society and the next big question is why we cheat. Social researchers have listed out the main reasons for infidelity in accordance to gender:

Why Men Cheat

70% of men in long term relationships have admitted to cheating on their partners however contrary to popular belief there isn’t a striking difference between the numbers of cheating men as against cheating women. To their credit men do edge out their fair skinned counterparts by roughly an extra 10% in the cheating department.

Sexual Dissatisfaction – Well this is hardly a surprise, the naturally high levels of testosterone cause a much stronger compulsion for men to engage in sexual activity when compared to women. The mechanisms of evolution have ensured that there’s always a healthy dose of testosterone flowing around and dissatisfaction in this aspect of a relationship is a primary reason for cheating in men.

The Male Ego – Men have a tendency to need confirmation of their self worth every now and then, one of the most important sources of this much needed attention comes from his spouse. If the relationship has grown apart and the partners aren’t supportive of each other men may turn to other sources to stroke their egos.

The Smooth Getaway – If a man is given reason to believe that he can get away with cheating on his spouse or if he’s gotten away with it easily on previous occasions chances are he will try his luck again. This is common sense and can loosely be deciphered as his partner’s fault for not paying sufficient attention.

The Thrill Of The Chase – Most often than not men will stray just to gain a little variety in their sexual endeavors. Even more importantly most men cheating on their partners gain a higher level of excitement through their amorous activities, the reason being the element of danger involved with the act of cheating which escalates the thrill of the chase.
 

Why Women Cheat

Women are credited with being experts of emotional cheating but within the contemporary social setting where women are empowered and encouraged to step into a man’s shoes the same pitfalls that befell men through the years are slowly descending upon women. In a study carried out by Coffee & Company 50% of women in long term relationships admitted to tangoing with someone other than their spouse.

Stale Relationships – Often known as the exit affair women employ a very strategic routine to end their stale relationships guilt free, they engage in infidelity just so their partners will catch them in the act and would result in the curtain call of the relationship.

Contemptuous Familiarity – One of the most common reasons for women straying from their partners is the general feeling of being taken for granted. Steady relationships often skim through the roses and chocolates stage and end up in a very solid routine of watching tv and sleeping on either corner of the bed. The lack of attention causes women to experience low levels of self worth making them more susceptible to the charms of another man who promises more attention and care.

The End Of The Delusion – The brain activity in newly smitten lovers is much similar to that of cocaine addicts making it safe to assume that we fall in love with what might not exactly be the most accurate description of our partners. As the relationship stands the test of time women tend to notice the irksome habits that they were initially blind to. In essence when a woman realizes her prince is a frog she might kiss other frogs hoping they’ll turn into a prince.

Revenge Sex – Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned they say and it turns out the old adage couldn’t be more accurate. A woman whose partner has strayed will get back at him by straying herself. Experts suggest that women may even nurse a broken heart by engaging in sexual activity with another man.  
 

In conclusion the bottom line is that cheating occurs almost equally among both genders owing to a variety of reasons. However there are those couples who go their lives without the treacherous games of deception that most of us fall prey to. Commitment, affection and companionship; the key ingredients of a successful relationship could overcome all of the pitfalls that life puts our way. They say 4% of us have the monogamous gene question is do you have it in you?

(By Dilshan Senaratne)