Bidding Adieu to Your Twenties!
We have already spent a few days in a brand new year. Take a moment to let that sink in.
If you are like me, you remember your life in a very detailed manner until your sixteenth birthday, and thereafter it’s just a blur. There have been times where I accidentally misquoted my age or even wrongly answered that I left school five years ago when in reality it was ten. My brain is still trying to process the passage of time. It's not doing a very good job at it, though.
I could almost picture my brain in yoga pants, trainers, sporting a sweat band, toiling with exhaustion, gasping for breath saying, ‘Wait! Time, don’t leave me! Wait!’, and Time turns around with a smirk and a middle finger ‘El-Raised-O’.
Running on the final lap of my twerky-twenties (that’s a lie – I don’t know how to twerk), I have decided that I need to let go of a few things. It's time to part from the baggage that's holding me back, and possibly you.
Bidding adieu to my twenties meant setting myself free of ten things. In some cases, the more I let go, the more I will gain in life. It’s ironic that as I write this I am listening to Britney Spears’ ‘So Pretty’.
1. Naughty Names:
In the year 2001 when I opened my very first e-mail account, I thought I was very hip to call it ‘[email protected]' – naturally, I would be ping-ed in any chat room for its suggestiveness and to my amazement, it was thought to connote something sexual. For anyone who knows me, they would know that this was derived from my partiality towards desserts.
As I grew into my twenties, I am happy that I didn’t add ‘Fairy’, ‘Pixie’, or ‘Sweets’ as my surname on any social media platform. I applaud those who do, but saying hello to my thirties with a name like ‘Peaches' is like having an expensive wine bottled in an Elephant House Orange Barley bottle.
2. Hats On:
It’s fortunate that many younger people are not only aware of STDs, but are also insisting on protected sex. I don’t think the message sank well with my generation, but it’s encouraging to learn that this trend is changing, and especially girls insist on leaving the hat on!
3. Dieting Dory:
Going on a date in my twenties meant ordering food that would look as if though I was a careful eater. On my first date with Boyfriend No. 2, I ordered a frigging green salad and felt like a proper rabbit nibbling on grass. It was awful, but I needed to project the image that I was a 'proper' female. Months into our relationship, he said that he knew that I was not enjoying the meal and felt that I was trying to impress him. I vehemently denied this.
On my last "date" or in any forum I now ensure I order what I actually enjoy eating, and don't deny myself the pleasure of it. #HelloCalories
4. Mix and Match:
I have been a part of several attempts where friends set me and another unwilling soul on a blind date. It ended sourly for both of us and I am glad that as I exit my twenties this year, I have tagged this baggage as 'no'.
5. Swipe ‘NO’:
Tinder was something I installed on my phone in 2014 and had it uninstalled a year later. As advanced as I may be in years, I will not be able to accept an app purely for one intent and purpose.
What completely threw me off the bandwagon was when a good looking Caucasian messaged me with one word and one punctuation mark that left me reeling: "Sex?" I could say that the others, at least, attempted conversation before suggesting any further action. That file will remain closed along with the rest of 2014.
6. Shedding the Friend Fat:
Starting my twenties, I had a few close friends who I knew will stand by me; and now, I have fewer but a far more dependable kind. Shed the friend fat, it really does help.
7. Goodbye Nocturnal-ness:
By far, this factor was what prompted me to share these experiences with you. I am sickened by the thought of partying on until 5 AM, heading to Pilawoos for 'cheese koththu' and milo and sleeping for 24 hours to recover. It’s just not only age catching up, but it also about wanting to lead a better lifestyle.
What will surely delight me would be a dinner and wine with friends, trying new cuisines and enjoying each other’s company, rather than worshipping the toilet bowl for a few hours in the night.
8. Attention Wh*re:
Stop denying that you are not one; every female enjoys attention – not just from the opposite sex, even if it meant cursory glances of appreciation for your new investment of heels. A major part of why we dress the way we do, talk the way we do or choose to spend almost Rs. 900 on a regular cup of joe at Coffee Bean is prompted by wanting to be noticed, appreciated and recognized.
As I enter my thirties, I realized that I no longer care that I don't even receive a glimpse of attention from the boys in the gym, and I don't even try to look nice in Reebok® sweats. I was telling my BFF that I am at point where I would rather the attention for what I do, the way I dress, from females, rather that fools whose minds are steered by their pecker.
9. My Way or the High Way:
Going back to my earlier point, I also realized that I can very happily decline men with so much gusto, that it comes to a point where they beg their way back. I will discuss this on a later date, but I stopped settling for less and this is a resolution I will carry well into my thirties.
10. Lewdly Luminous:
This was an embarrassing phase when I wore luminous bras to work. I don't even know how I imagined this would be ‘sexy'. For me now, 'sexy' would remain with black lace, stiletto heels (not clogs), and subtle slits. It's funny how with maturity, our definition of what's appealing is refined.
There you have it, ten factors that I will embrace fully as I turn to a new chapter in my life. I am excited to see how this decade turns out!
What have I left out? Do you have anything similar to this? Do share them in the comments section below, and don’t forget to look out for Ms. Confidential next Wednesday, and feel free to share this with your friends!
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