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#NoFilter - Why Are We Single?
Girls night out. Present amongst the sexy ladies is a doctor, sociologist, two lawyers, an IT consultant… and only one of us were married. It was only one person who was “taken”, the rest were single beyond a casual flirtation.
This was uncanny because all the girls on the table were confident, smart, and gorgeous. Fitting in to the powerful ambience, I kept it cool, calm and glamorous.
Then the doctor fuelled by a Long Island leaned over and asked me “Why are we single?”
Literally, The question of the past decade. Why are ‘we’ single? = Why am ‘I’ single?
This would have been at least the tenth time for the month that I have been asked this question. A question I have asked many times myself even without the fruit pulp filled cocktail. And over the years, I have heard many, many theories.
Curb the checklist.
Recently I was asked by a friend to tone my expectations down. This was funny in an I-am-plotting-your-murder kind of way because she was talking about My expectations? MY expectations? It’s not like I am looking for Brad Pitt’s clone or Bill Gates’s son. My only expectations are for him to be committed to me, loving, faithful… a man who is capable of taking care of me, and is caring and kind.
And of course being mentally stable is implied.
Men go for looks.
Four years ago, I had teeth that could have scared Dracula. This according to my close relatives, frighten the male species off because unlike us lasses they gents are indefinitely visual creatures. Thus correcting my teeth would mean a long line of suitors would be on my doorstep, ready to whisk me away.
It’s been three years since my teeth were corrected and the only thing that has been on my doorstep is a stray cat.
Don’t talk smart.
There may be some truth in this statement, I am not sure, but apparently men find women who are smart intimidating. Well obviously not every woman is a Marie Curie or a Hillary Clinton, but apparently talking in depth of subjects such as politics, history or the economy of a country might be bordering on horror house to them.
This is particularly offensive to both sexes I believe, but since representatives of both parties have told me this privately I suppose there is some truth to it?
You are way too independent.
This is one of those explanations that made me literally Roll-On-The-Floor-Laughing. Of course it was bestowed by a male friend and because of his biology it perhaps should not be dismissed. But let’s see, I am single - which means that I don’t have Prince Charming picking me up from work, or taking me out for dinners or buying me pretty things, therefore I have been doing all this for myself for a while. And that scares off potential suitors?
Am I to lock myself in my room until some chap appears to provide all this? #confused
Confidence creepy.
For some inexplicable reason, if you are girl who is eloquent and is able to make a clear sentence with people in general, you are classified as confident. This too apparently doesn’t work well as a mating/relationship call. “You’re really confident. You speak so well. That is really intimidating to guys”.
I have nothing to say in return for this observation. Maybe my silence might attract a man now?
For the longest time, I have pledged my soul to love. Love that knows no boundaries that (quoting Carrie Bradshaw) is inconvenient can't do without each other love. This love apparently doesn’t exist or has died somewhere between the Victorian era and today – the Fifty Shades of Grey era.
Love at best has become a secondary need. What has superseded and even defined marriage today especially in Sri Lanka are reasons such as family background, wealth, qualifications (or the lack of it), social status and religion. It is in fact difficult nay impossible to find a man who loves you for you.
Now I know why I am single - I will not settle for anything less. This may seem sad, pathetic, depressing and certainly self indulging, but as I have discovered recently it's the story of many MANY women in this country.
Text by S. A. Hamid
0 Comments
Dimitrri says:
Dec 03, 2015 at 12:00 amThis article is utter rubbish. These are the qualities I look in a girl. Don't demean men and woman so much!!
Dany says:
Dec 04, 2015 at 12:00 amDarling, I love Intelligent women who knows what's happening around the world (economy and politics except what is next Sharuk khan movie) only thing that turn guys down is yes some women talk nonstop and also they like to keep up with the "Drink" like the blokes. No decent Guy likes women who get drunk.
Rish says:
Dec 04, 2015 at 12:00 amI think the problem these women face is that they are not adaptable. The reason I say this is because there is a time and place for everything. In social settings if you don't know how to relax and leave the intellectual cap home then you will attract people. However, if you exhibit success in all your social interactions including personal ones then people will think you got a chip on your shoulder. When a man flaunts his intellect and success on a women he is often considered a jerk or show of