Sri Lankans are a funny bunch. Isn’t it strange that we have the highest number of hits on local news media sites that feature abysmal road or train accidents? Media outlets baiting views by posting content so sensitive, even Satan doesn't have a log for that kind of evil. Perhaps we all have a deep-seeded desire for the ‘gore and gruesome’, and the Media are just making the most of it.

On the subject of baiting people, I have a theory that it’s probably the same with breakups. We like using, (baiting, if you will), threats to break up to get back at our Significant Others. I've recently understood that there are levels to this thing having heard stories of separation and break-ups in recent times.

• WhatsApp Status

This is a fast blow – if the point has to be driven across fast and succinctly to know that your threats to walk away when you want to can materialise, changing your WhatsApp status is your go-to move. It might not reach an audience at large, but he can see you shift from your cute, heartsy status to gambit mode.

• Posting Emo

If the break up is in limbo, you encounter a trail of posts on social media that can vary from levels ranging from Beyoncé to Angoda. First, the posts like, ‘once you figure out that you’ve lost the best thing that has happened to you, don’t come back’, ‘I am strong with or without you’, ‘what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger’, and even Joshua Kadison can weep for days.

Or, you will find feisty deals about how the said partner had cheated then the posts range from ‘should’ve listened to my gut instincts’ to ‘may you have a chainsaw accident’. For onlookers, this content is snapped, shared, and dissected like frogs in an A Level Biology lesson providing you gags for days.

• The Cross Over

This is when the Relationship Status on Facebook changes to ‘single'. I don't know the exact sequence that this happens, but I would imagine that this is done before he/she is unfriended because you want them to feel that #burn. Personally, I would imagine that this is the hardest part of a breakup, not because of the emotions associated with it, but because you know those watti-amma type of friends who are clapping behind their sympathetic texts. I’ve known Sri Lankans who have flitted over from ‘In a Relationship’ to ‘Single’, back and forth beating the likes of Andre Agassi and Roger Federer at Wimbledon.

• Did he make it?

Are Sri Lankans superficial? The answer to this can be found in the way in which couples unfriend each other on social media platforms no sooner they have a tiff. ‘Why did you like her photo on Instagram?’ – Unfriend. ‘Why did you ‘like’ my photo and not ‘love’ it?’ – Unfriend. Why is she still your friend on Facebook? – Unfriend.

Somehow, the whole tide of the relationship can be determined by the little icons on Facebook. The worst thing is couples who do this don’t realise that this status appears on our feed, and honey, we know.

• Adding Photos on Social Media

Now even though the parties who’ve just broken up are in the throes of sorrow, I find that many resort to posting selfies (semi-nude) with deep quotes that have little or no relation to their face. I suppose the sub-text of this text is ‘you missing dis?’ This again is a form of a bait, because whether you like to admit it or not, you’re hoping he/she sees it and realizes how much they’ve lost.

• Wildin’

If the selfies aren't bad enough – couples would use social media to let the other party know how well they're doing. It could be that they had to wait hours for service at the club, spent thousands of rupees of alcohol that didn't serve its purpose, and were groped by men old enough to be your father, but these photos are posted with hashtags of #Blessed, #GirlsNight, and #MySingleLadies and then you know it's over.

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* image courtesy Huffington Post