#NoFilter - Why Do You Shame Single Women?
It is without a moment of hesitation that I use the word “shame” because that is exactly what you do. However the you here aren’t family members whose real fear is that you will end up alone, the you I speak of are the non-related married persons around me.
Over the past few months, I have had to endure an adequate amount of bullying because of my social status – single, which at best is an epidemic apparently. On a daily basis you hear sayings such as “You're single – you have nothing to worry about!” Yes that is right because when you are single you’re apparently not human and when you’re not human, well no problems then. You just breeze through life! You are so problem-free that you literally float through space.
This unreasonable assumption is not an insult to single people all over the world but to humanity in general. What if you were in a relationship with someone while you were in your mother’s womb?
Following are the top 5 cringe worthy opinions that indicates that they might have been.
"You’re so lucky that you’re not married. Your salary is entirely yours"
This statement is funny and offensive at the same time. First of all did you not think that your financial status will change after marriage? If you didn’t I suggest you invest your savings in a new brain. The offensive part is how you think single people have no expenses. To all the independent single women out there who support your parents or sibling or yourself, on behalf of these ignorant buffoons please accept my apologies.
“So what do you do on a weekend men? You’re free no always”
It is not even a question but an observation. How fun is that? Yes because I don’t have a significant other I am absolutely free on a weekend. No I don’t have hobbies or interests that keep me busy, I just sit and stare at the ceiling until Monday dawns upon me. Should we even mention the personal chores? Which is a priority or I will be attending work in the same smelly outfit every day.
"Children are so expensive. You’re so lucky you don’t have any"
Number 1: children ARE expensive in this wavering economy therefore if you have miscalculated the success rate of the baby making process and you had to have one – that is entirely your problem.
Number 2: the worst thing you can tell a single woman is that she’s lucky she doesn’t have kids. There are women/wives who have taken the brave decision of not having children for whatever reason. But most women want to have a kid or at least the precious thought of it.
"Single bells, single bells, my only wish this Christmas is to get a boyfriend so I can get presents from someone I love"
This was said on behalf of me when I was in search of a customized jingle for a project. Well originality isn’t his strength clearly because this was on the internet somewhere. However the ironic part was this was declared by a person who is on his second marriage which of course means that he is some sort of relationship guru. Despite the fact that he couldn’t get it right the first time.
“You’re not married. You have no responsibilities”
Well if you are single person without any children you have absolutely no responsibilities. Sorry, duties towards your parents, siblings and the least of all you yourself doesn’t count at all. It is perfectly fine if you are single and you fall dreadfully ill you have no child to infect or the very least a husband to take care of - You can afford to fall ill and perhaps even die. In fact why don’t we just get all the single women together and systematically shoot them all off? #NaziStyle
In addition to the difficulties single women already face including the need to be absolutely financially secure because we are alone and in an emergency we have only us, that heart wrenching feeling that we are a “burden” to our concerned parents, that ticking biological clock we also have to suffer such ABUSE.
Besides being irritated to the point of plotting murder these declarations also made me sad. I realized that even though we are well in to the 21st century that people of our generation still think so archaic. But what is worse is the blatant disregard for individuality and a woman’s life choices. More importantly this is the unnecessary social pressure that coerces single women to make bad decisions, bad marriages even that would be detrimental to their life.
For once I have no prescriptive remedy to this humiliating situation except to say to these married bullies that the misery is your own making so STOP THE SHAMING.
By S.A. Hamid
0 Comments
JD says:
Jan 22, 2016 at 12:00 amWell said!! Thank you for taking the time and effort to highlight the inhumane and insensitive society we live in today.
Shenali Goonawardena says:
Jan 24, 2016 at 12:00 amBrilliantly written