Sri Lankans are entertaining people. More so when they are sick. Being sick sucks, but most get up to various shenanigans and theatrics that are sometimes amusing and other times downright annoying. Either way, people tend to play their sick role with aplomb. Here are a few types of sick people you will encounter: 

1. The Self Diagnoser + The Googler 

This person don't need no doctor, dammit! They KNOW this is some form of flu they've got. No need to waste time and money on useless doctors who’ll tell them the same thing anyway. Like the self diagnoser, the Googler can figure out their ailment online, thank you very much. “So according to WebMD, my headache is probably brought on by the brain tumor it says I might have.” 

2. The Attention Seeker 

The slightest headache will suffice for this person to seek attention from friends and family. These overdramatic souls expect to constantly be fussed over and to be pitied. If - God forbid - you leave them for 5 minutes, they will conjure up more ailments and complaints to get you to refocus your attention on them. Everything, including a simple common cold, will be blown way out of proportion. 

3. The Opportunist 

The kith and kin are constantly at this person's beck and call since this person refuses to lift a finger because they're sick. “Nangi can you pass me the book at the edge of my bed?”, “Ammi, can you help me drink this glass of water? I don't have the energy to raise the glass.” 

4. The Self Medicator 

Most probably the very same people who are also self diagnosers, these people believe in their own prowess at dishing out the best meds for themselves. Because of course, they apparently know better than the doctors who slaved through years of med school. “The best medicine for my high blood pressure is xxx. You should take it too. Don't trust these doctors machan - they know nothing.” 

5. The Tough Cookie 

These people can be dying - quite literally - but they will soldier through the day, refusing to wallow in self pity. They don't let being sick hold them back, and most importantly, don't bother the people around them with complaints. These are the people we appreciate, but also worry about considering the fact that they tend to downplay their illness. 

6. The One Who's Not Actually Sick 

This person loves faking illness - cue somatic symptoms - for many reasons. They may do it for the attention or to get out of responsibilities. Age is no barrier, from the older folks (“You know, this hip has been killing me for weeks now… and don't even get me started about my bowel movements”), to the kids (“Mom I think I have a tummy ache… I think I should have some gripe water”) and everyone in between. 

By Rihaab Mowlana