It’s happened to all of us. If all your dates go smooth as silk, this really isn’t the article for you and we envy you with a passion. Personally things couldn’t go worse for me when it comes to a date. A date is an awkward enough situation as it is without having to deal with credit cards that don’t work and cars that won’t start up et cetra.
Impressions are everything when it comes to the first few dates with a potential significant other and nothing messes up an impression than an awkward situation that leaves everyone involved red in the face. It could be anything from a long slippery slide down a staircase in public or an ex who comes over to announce that you gave him/her Syphilis; really it could be anything and as go the best laid plans of men and mice, dates are the most prone to disastrous endings from possibly all of human interactions.
However whats important is that you defuse the situation with as much dignity as you can muster and pretend that nothing happened; either that or wipe her memory off MIB style.
She Gets Intoxicated
We’re not talking the cute little “can’t walk in her heels” kind of tipsy, we’re talking “fall face first on the pavement” kind of intoxicated. This happens way too often and it catches most of us by surprise, it isn’t easy to adjust to someone who comes out of all inhibitions without much warning, frankly its one of the most confusing situations you could face.
The solution is simple really, end the date and make sure she gets home. It isn’t a wise move to stand around trying to salvage the long lost date by taking care of her.
The thing is that she might do something very impromptu in her stupor and if you go along with it, chances are you’ll be accused of taking advantage of her. Best thing is to get her home as soon as possible.
Early Exits
If she ends the date while you’re still wrapping your tongue around the Chateau De Sauvignon, it’s quite easy to see that your time playing Romeo is going to meet a premature ending. It might even be that she made plans but then decided not to include you in them. An early exit is the most devastating to a man’s ego and can be difficult to deal with.
Whether or not her grandmother really is in hospital because she slipped, fell and bounced off the kitchen door, the bottom line is that you’re not going to get any further on this date.
The plan of action is simple, go for a sudden kiss on the lips or something equally exuberant in hopes of changing her mind, in case you don’t change her mind at least you got a kiss, after that go on ahead and call you friends over and have a guy’s night out or better yet call a girlfriend you haven’t met in a while and complete the night.
Arguments
If I had a dollar for every time this happens to me. Anyhow there you were, basking in the glory of her beautiful eyes when she took you completely off guard with a racist comment or a stab at something you dearly believe in, maybe you (like me) are the one to grant the opening blow but what’s important is that sooner than later, the innocent comment has evolved into world war 3 and things don’t look too good anymore.
Well the solution is pretty simple really and it depends on whether or not you still want to get in bed with her. Well if you still want to see what the colour of her sheets are, hand the argument over to her, admit that you might have been wrong with as much dignity as you can muster, lose the battle but win the war.
In case you don’t see the need to take her to bed anymore however you can proceed to scream at her, call her fat and throw your drink in her face. All in good fun of course.
A Run In With The Ex
This is the king of all disasters, whether it’s her ex or yours. In case you scan the room and notice the girl who got a restraining order against you or she does the same and sees the guy who made her an internet porn star.
It’s important not to panic; provided of course you’re not within the restrainment radius. Act calm and engage in conversation if you must. Smile, ask how they are and forget that they exist.
By Dilshan Senaratne
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