WHY! Oh WHY!...don’t they listen?

I have probably touched on this subject more times than I like to mention. Why don’t the children listen to us parents? I mean we’re simple folks, we come with the best of intentions, we love them unconditionally, our lives are spent making their lives perfect. So, why the indifferent, insensitive lack of adhesion to our rules and regulations? They live in our houses, tormenting us with their temper tantrums, complete lack of regard for our privacy and property and perpetual disregard for anything we say. What are we to do with theses innocent tormentors. A bit harsh you might say, but after the umpteenth time asking children to pick up their toys, stop fighting, stop making a ruckus, any saint of a person can start tiptoeing on to their evil dark side.

Constantly being in a state of dismay, anger, frustration, the summer holidays have surely had a toll on me, all for the mere reason that anything I say completely deludes my children’s acknowledgement and attention. Is it because I’m the one “who pulled the short straw ” and therefore gets to stay at home and unfortunately unlike their father is boring and common place. I mean I guess I can’t beat my husband’s exciting day of adventure in the world of work for I spent a good part of the morning colour coordinating the towels cupboard. Okay Mum is boring, I accept the reality, but please treat me with kindness thus because of my misgiving at least have pity on me and just LISTEN to me now and then. After my occasional outburst of rioting protests at the treatment of mother and disregard for rules, I must say there is compliance for a couple of weeks, until all is forgotten and once again the half drunk Milo packets are stuffed behind couches, T. V is switched on the moment my back is turned and some other frightful mess is done despite my screams. It all reverts back to once it was, children running havoc, and myself screaming the same old rules everyday.

Unfortunately  Parents, the reality is that our children will never listen to us. Yes you might say they seem to be compiling, but don’t comfort yourself with false presences. The listening never lasts, it changes it takes turns, it grows us, it becomes demanding, it takes a life of its own. Through out the test of time it has been proven that children never listen to their parents, but the realistic solution us Parents have to face is how to withstand these testing times. How to buffer the anger and frustration and change our methods and tactics accordingly, to get through the toddler and adolescence years unscathed. Here are a few tried and tested tactics:

1. Get rid of distractions: If you want your point to get across, never shout when the children are distracted watching T.V or playing their games. You will accomplish nothing other than exercising your vocal chords for lucidity. The children will have heard nothing and nothing will be accomplished.

2. Mode of disciplining: Always have a certain way of giving our orders. Get your tone of voice, body language, words used right.

3. Get in their shoes: When trying to discipline small children. Always come down to their level. Speak slowly and ask them to repeat back to you what you asked them to do. If it is too complicated for them to repeat back, they won’t do it. Use small short sentences and make it effective.

4. Reward positive behaviour: Even though the task accomplished was done after you have screamed a couple of times. Reward the positive behaviour accomplished, this will motivate any lack lustre’s child’s spirits, and fingers crossed next time they will be motivated to do what Mummy asked for in return for a satisfactory praise.

5. Never ask: Never ask a child to do things, always tell them. If you start to ask your children what they would like to do, when etc..then the only thing that will be accomplished is what your children want to do. You are the parent, take control and rules your roost right.

6. Negative consequences: In my books tough love is the best love. If your child doesn’t listen then noncompliance has to be met with negative consequences. Toys have to be taken away, punishments doled out. This is a good way to get to the most unruly of children.

So our work as Parents is never done, the battle continues, it’s us against them. But we are strong we can handle the good with the bad. We can be steadfast and suffer through for despite the setback, life without children wouldn’t really be a life lived at all.

By Mayuri Jayasinghe