Why ARE children naughty?..if I were given a penny for everytime I was asked this question I’d be an extremely rich woman. But no pennies come my way and the children are still naughty. “Naughty” is defined as (especially of a child) badly behaved or disobedient behaviour. My son practices the art of “being naughty” with a passion. Not a day goes by where he isn’t engaged in some act that has me in a state. Whether it’s annoying his sisters, to stuffing unwanted debris in the aquarium to fiddling with all the wires on the T.V, he usually has me in a state of utter exasperation screaming his name in vexation!!!

When I say naughty, he isn’t malicious, he doesn’t do things to hurt people or destroy things. His curiosity just gets the better of him. Just the other day he had got into a tin of black paint which he then dutifully painted over my nice clean wall, when asked what made him to do such a thing, he presented me with a whole scientific theory on black versus white and which captures more light than the other. Angry about my wall, instead of listening to this theory I sent him to a corner to be punished. In hindsight I wonder if that was the right thing to do. In his eyes he wasn’t being naughty he was just exploring his surroundings and investigating his interests. Sometimes one cannot plug a square peg into a round hole, as the sayings goes. There are reasons why your children are naughty, and here’s what I’ve found out:
 
1. Curiosity: The main reason that children misbehave..or at least we think they misbehave is because they are curious about their surroundings. My son has been prone to try out many a science experiment which involves the dissembling of essential electronic items. Not cool to find remotes with missing buttons etc when one decides to relax infront of the T.V. Of course you have the tendency to punish when expensive electrical items are broken, but usually children engage in such behaviour because they are exploring their surroundings and testing their boundaries. As children grow, this tendency to search for new findings settles and they start to be come more complacent and accepting. Thus the behaviour gets curtailed.

2. Miscommunication: Children are still learning to express themselves, and articulating their feelings is not always verbose. They tend to act out their feelings rather than say that they're tired, anxious or cranky. As parents, it is essential for us to watch out for these clues and react accordingly. Punishing a child because he’s naughty due to tiredness is not solving anything, but instead upsetting an already emotional child, which you will regret eventually.

3. Desire for independence: As adults we have the liberty of doing things when we want and how we want to. For the independent child this can be quite frustrating, for the one who does not want to be led but will rather lead this situation is stifling. Thus like caged animals he or she will fight her environment. Of course as parents we need to show the impressionable child the way, but take into account their nature and allow liberties when you can.

4. Impulse behaviour: Until children reach a certain age their behaviour is impulse based. When you say don’t climb the tree, they want to do it, they haven’t thought the act through. What will happen when they get to the top, will they fall, how will they get down etc. They do not think about the consequences of their actions, but just follow their impulses, be they right or wrong. This is usually where all so called “naughty” behaviour stems from.

Having children at such young ages their behavior is questionable,  of course some are more naughty than others, depending on their behaviour. Rather than pull my hair out in vexation I need to understand a little more about the bored child, the tired child or the one who just wants to explore. This is the more successful way of fighting the battle before it begins.

Text by Mayuri Jayasinghe