What’s Mine Is Mine And What’s Yours Is Mine!
“It’s MINE”, I scream “Everything is mine, the table is mine, the chair, the pen, the nanny, IT’S MINE!”, my face quivers a few millimeters away from Big Sister’s face, I clutch her star spangled My Little Pony doll to my chest in a fierce grip. She makes a feeble attempt at rescuing it, looks into my determined face, tastes defeat and runs screaming for Mummy. I don’t know why she attempts to pick fights with me, she knows what always happens in the end.
Anyway, with the elections looming and the country in a decisive mode, I’m just emulating the behaviour around me. Everything is all mine, what’s yours is mine, what’s his is mine, I’ll tell you anything to get it to be mine. Yes elect me! Teary eyed Big Sister comes bringing back up forces. So unfortunately the “everything is mine spell” didn’t go down with Mummy too well. I’ve been quite strongly asked to return Big Sister’s toy. But Mother I say, my whole campaign motto is “Everything Is Mine”, you are standing in the way of political justice.
Somehow Mother dearest doesn’t seem too convinced, she surely is a tough consistuent to please. Bring me Grandma any day, she is a firm believer in my “Everything Is Mine” slogan, I guess the dimples and the butter could melt in my mouth look does play an important factor in the accumulation of votes. But Mother seems determined for fairness and equality. Mother dearest doesn’t Big Sister know it’s a doggie dog world out there. You need to fight for your rights and take other’s rights in the process! That’s politics sweetie! I guess there is a smidgen of fairness and equality in our house, for I sit, minus acquired toy, punished, on the naughty step. Not to worry, this is just a minor setback I will rally the troops and be back next year, will think of a new slogan, a new angle…I will be back to rule, conquer and divide!
Expert Advice on Sharing and Possession in Toddlers
When Sharing's Too Hard!
As the baby becomes a toddler, she may have a favorite object that she carries with her: the indispensable blankie or "lovey." This object represents all the strong feelings of ownership and love that the toddler has for important adults-most often her parents, but sometimes a grandparent or relative who is raising her. This beloved object is not something to be shared or even parted with! It comforts the toddler because she has control over it. If these important feelings of ownership toward a "lovey" are respected, other objects, such as toys, are less likely to be hoarded.
Living in an Egocentric World
What causes young children to feel so possessive of their playthings? Still egocentric, a 3-year-old does not yet have a well-developed ability to put herself in another's place. A child may carefully guard her toys, because he or she believes that allowing someone else to use something is actually giving it away. Most young children feel vulnerable about losing their possessions. Because they think everything revolves around themselves, when they see all of the toys at school, they think they are "mine." As a result, if they wish to play with a toy being used by another child, they may try to take it. Likewise, if a 3-year-old is playing with a toy, they are likely to try to protect it.
What You Can Do
Help children learn to ask permission. To help avoid conflicts when one child has selected an item to play with, no one else should be allowed to use it unless they ask for and receive permission from that child.
Encourage working together. When several children want to use the same object, such as a wagon, show them how to take turns (two children ride in the back, while the third one pulls).
Introduce new playthings. When there is a new toy in the classroom, discuss it at group time, and make suggestions about ways that everyone can have a turn playing with it (by signing up, having two children play together, etc.).
Implement some turn-taking strategies. When there is only one of something special, such as a computer, children often feel possessive of it and don't readily let others have a turn with it. Try using a time limit, or indicate a specific number of times something can be used before the next person has a turn.
By Mayuri Jayasinghe
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