So we’ve got tennis on Monday, swimming Wednesday, Ballet Thursday, voice training Tuesday…. I was pain-stakingly trying to update my husband, since I was going to be gone for a week, and he would have to handle the kids’ schedules.
As I looked up from my organizer he looked more confused than a bee trying to get honey from a plastic flower. Who has what again and when do they have any days off?.
His question got me thinking, as much as it is hard work for me to keep these schedules running smoothly, are my kids over-scheduled, over-booked and maybe over tired?.
Initially I started looking at extra-curricular activities after school, to keep my older over-active daughter occupied in the afternoons, if free she would run a riot and the house and people would be in different modes of distress.
But then as the kids got older, their interests diversified, we discovered talents that had to be moulded further, sudden interests in the sports and arts that needed to be pursued. This was all after a hectic day at school and homework and revision still pending in the evenings. YES, the kids are busy.
Many parents consider it a badge of good parenting to say that their children have numerous activities and clubs. In a way we are allowing them to explore their talents, rather than letting them to wallow at home kicking a ball. For those parents who do work, clubs and activities also give some reassurance that their child is doing something constructive rather than staying home with the nannies.
So, yes, from a parents point of view, it is good thing that children have activities but it is essential that we get the balance right for they are after all kids and if you can’t waste your time when you’re a kid when can you really?
Signs your children are over scheduled
The most obvious of course that they are over-tired. With back to back classes and after a hectic day at school it not surprising that children will be tired and grumpy. This makes homework time and family time in the evenings hard for all to enjoy.
With the busy schedules, children might start to display other physical ailments. Frequents colds, stomach ailments, aches and pains are all symptoms of over- tiredness.
Kids start forgetting how to have fun and just be kids. With all the schedules and intensely structured afternoons, little time is left for children to think and do things on their own. They look towards you for organizing even their ‘FUN’ for them.
Suddenly if you see their school grades dropping, this is a sure-fire indication that the children are over-worked. They have no free time to relax and un wind. Homework and revision is crammed in and hastily done.
Children could become moody and anxious and suffer even from depression. With the more activities that they are involved in, the more pressure on them to do well, not meeting standards required could cause to think of themselves as failure.
What can you do?
All Parents want what is best for their children, yes it is good to expand their horizons and to a certain extent pressure them to pursue extra-curricular activities. But it has to be a constructively positive exercise as well.
Beware of how your child is at the end of the day. Watch out for signs of stress, burnout and unnecessary fatigue.
Constantly talk to your child about their activities, what they want to achieve and how much they enjoy it. Do not agree to stop the activities just because your child wants to, as parents we do have to push them along the ways a little. Analyse the situation carefully, when things are hard to not give them the easy option to quit.
Allow the schools to take over most of the sports and arts. It is a bit defeatious to have a major swimming class at school and then go for another one afterwards. Unless your child shows some extra promise and is required to participate in an event, they is no need to double book.
Give yourself a break, give the car a break, have an no club day. Relax in the afternoons, let the kids goof off. Have a family fun day.
Yes it is good to have activities, but it is the wise parent that doesn’t get carried off to compete with the neighbors child who is involved in thirteen different activities and still exceling in school. It is important our children do well, but also be aware of their abilities and the wonders that make them your children.
By Mayuri Jayasinghe
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