Quite recently I had my neighbors’ one year old over for a visit and in the midst of gleefully playing with my three children he systematically went on to bite each one, leaving them shell shocked for words and his mother absolutely horrified! I was quite amused by this episode for I remember my own children’s biting years vividly. Young children, if you have not already noticed explore their world with their mouths and biting is a natural extension of this process. For young children below the ages of three, the urge to bite arises out of curiosity, stress, frustration and excitement. If your daily household antics resemble a scene from the new ‘Twilight’ movie do not be disheartened, the trick is to understand the reasoning behind the ‘biting’ and to help guide our children to keep their pearly whites to themselves!

Reasons for biting and solutions

Teething

As their teeth come in children have the urge to bite down on anything from your arm to the toy they are holding. Offer hard foods such as rusks and be firm and say ‘No biting! Biting hurts!’

Natural curiosity

As children explore, they lead with their mouths so to speak. Everything is tested. Help your child understand the difference between those things which are okay to bite and which are not. If biting persists, remove the child from the scene of the disaster and reiterate the famous words ‘No biting! Biting hurts!

Excitement

Being so little and experiencing such new emotions, obviously toddlers are not able to cope with their feelings of excitement. Show your child gentle ways of showing affection such as cuddling and stroking.

Frustration

If biting happens due to frustration make sure to monitor your child carefully. Try and understand what is frustrating them. Constant repetition of how it is harmful to bite should be adopted and will eventually hit home.

Attention seeking

In a scenario where a child has bitten because he or she is seeking attention, the trick is not to overreact. Since any attention, even negative attention is what the toddler seeks. Calmly and quietly talk to your baby and reiterate the obvious. Sometimes younger children feel over whelmed in groups of older children, make sure the younger ones are looked after and their needs are met.

Powerlessness and stress

Being as tiny as they are, they are so dependent on us for their needs to be met, and if we are unable to ascertain as to what they want the only way they can react is physically. Try and be attuned to your child’s wants, avoid situations that cause them stress and try and channel that stressful energy into other channels such doing a song and dance etc, the hokey Kokey used to work in our house.

How to deal with a situation where biting has occurred

1. Despite how proactive you have been about preventing biting, if it does occur, then the best thing to do is to act calm, maintain a quiet and controlled voice and remove the child from the situation.

2. Attend to whoever has been bitten, and afterwards explain to the biter the gravity of the situation. Teach them to apologize and comfort the victim at hand.

3. If your child is old enough to understand then suggest to them other avenues that they can deal with their frustration, for example counting to ten might be a better way to curb the frustration.

I’m afraid parents no one said bringing up children is a piece of cake. Expect to get severely bit until the message goes home and it will eventually. GOOD LUCK!

By Mayuri Jayasinghe