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Look in the kitchen, whose folding the laundry, whose putting out the garbage, whose sorting out a sibling fight armored with a baby on the hip…why it’s not Spiderman, Superman or even Wonder woman, it’s the oldest superhero in existence, the everyday common housewife.
I fully respect mothers who also work, they infact have many factors to juggle from kids to home affairs whilst also dealing with a competitive workplace. But having worked and then stayed at home to look after my children I feel there is a difference. Obviously most mothers, gut wrenchingly, leave their children and go to work because they have to contribute towards the income. It is more of a necessity than a choice.
But whilst they are away they have someone to look after the children and generally run the household for them. Extended family are reeled .jpg)
in to pick up children from school, charter then to activities, household chores such as paying bills etc get shared, for since they are working the general understanding is that you really can’t expect them to do everything. They are given their due respect as party of the money earning team.
For the ‘stay-at-home’ mother, society is under the misconception that we are in an alien time span in which the typical day in not 24 hours but possibly 48, this observation is made on the amount of work that is given to us, ‘just because we are at home’. Everyone is under the misconstrued notion that by being at home, stay at home mothers are in fact jobless, we infact actually sit around twiddling our thumbs waiting for our husbands and children to come home to us.
From sending kids to school in the morning to organizing meals to overseeing housework to paying bills to making appointments to grocery shopping to sorting out the ad hoc disasters, baby on hip, apron flowing in the wind, unwaveringly smile plastered on our faces, we are THE forgotten superheros, the housewife cum all doer, we will save your day and leave it smelling like roses as well.
But as human nature is, we are of course taken for granted in this unpaid twenty four seven profession of ours. We deal with unreasonable people, misbehaving kids, confused husbands, annoying relatives the list is endless and at the end of a treacherous day of mummy warfare we would be lucky to get a thanks and how has your day being? Of course I do not speak for all, there is the odd exception, but the majority of us toil away, day in day out and eventually we numb ourselves into becoming work horses rather than being mothers, wives, daughters or sisters. We start to forget who we are and also start to view ourselves as glorified servants of the family.
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Do not fall into this bottom-less pit, reel yourselves back from becoming generic. You after all are interesting, adventurous human beings, You had a life before husband, children and demanding household. Pursue hobbies, learn new skills, do not let yourself become just another stain on the family couch. You can do wonders, it might not be quantified in terms of money, but by raising children and looking after family members you are healers, educators, irreplaceable human beings in your loved ones lives. Take joy in that fact. The other day I was complaining to my husband about the number of things I get given to do ‘just because I am at home and his simple solution was to lets get someone to do them.
Instead of feeling very relived I was suddenly struck by an immense sense of sadness for I realized that these little petty chores are what make me who I am, as a mother, wife, sister or daughter. They are the delightful little intricacies that make up ‘ME’ and even though some might be mundance the beaming faces of pleased children, the endearing hug of a happy relative were all because of a few simple things I had done.
So I will find the time to tie shoe laces whilst stirring the dinner, to make that doctors appointment for an elder and to hug the baby, all the while I write this article. Being my family’s unsung hero is a gift rather than a curse. My fellow mothers at home, we can do this, the trick is not to forget yourself. A happier you is a happier family. On with our superhero capes, the day has dawned and there’s people to look after and housework to be done!
By Mayuri Jayasinghe
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