Our recent holiday season, Christmas is usually described in any Hallmark card, which now seems to be the anthem of everyday society, as the most wonderful time of the year. I, as a veteran parent of four beautiful children do not dispute that. With the kids at home from the holidays, there is laughter and gaiety in the air as the anticipation of what the holidays will hold, trips, parties, Santa and gifts galore. It is of course the season of unity, happiness, harmony and love. Dear parents, in my prevailing observation, I am sure your own household must be brimming with love and unity amongst your own children, but in mine the love lasts a mere fifteen minutes into the holidays. Then starts the real sounds of our holidays, the whining, the moaning, the persistent quarreling over petty things, “She took my white cup, so I hit her!”…but all the cups are white I say perplexed. Then our seasonal carol is “Mum I’m bored, Mum I’m bored,”..in which I respond with the usual chorus of “find something to do, anything to do”..to which they all shout in rare unison..”Mum we’re BORED”.

In all truthfulness I abhor the holidays, not that I have anything against Christmas, I infact adore family gatherings but home with my children in any holiday season is hell on earth. Now I love my children, and I am sorry if you feel I am remiss as a mother, but I only speak the truth. The second week into the holidays start with gruntled children who were up way too late, nobody wants what is there for breakfast, faults are plentiful, bread is yukky, roti is yukky, hoppers are yukky..says my wise five year, so what is not yukky?... Nutella on anything. Then begins the intricate breakdown of my ten year about how her holidays sucks and all her friends are traveling the world, whilst she gets stuck with her annoying brother.

Go read the encyclopedia I say expand your mind and not my credit card bill!. My emotional state is at that point at breaking point and it’s not even nine o clock. By evening in which I have stopped upteen fights, dealt with more boredom stricken children, and picked things from the living room floor for the throusandth time, my husband comes home to a she-devil incarnation of myself, I have screamed “what’s your problem? when he quite civilly has said hello. The disintegration of my good humor which leads to the death of my patience and eventual instigation of my anger and fury, which grows throughout the day is painful. I abhor being angry, but children as they say bring out the best in you and the worst, here are some helpful hints to quench that burning parental fury:

1. Set limits before you get angry: Explain to your children the rules that they have to adhere to, and instead of getting angry the moment that they break it, remind them about the limits set. Keep in mind, it won’t always work, but persistence and the result of severe punishments for the offender, can help stop your burgeoning anger.

2. Calming list: When I get angry I find it very hard to not let that anger grow. Instead have yourself a little list of things you can do before you jump into that state, leave the room, laugh, count to ten and breathe are all helpful hints.

3. Monitor your tone: Research shows that however annoyed you are speaking and maintaining a calm tone voice helps not to exacerbate the anger. Sounds implausible, but try it you have nothing to loose.

4. As an adult you can have stressful situations, our children tend to trigger our annoyance, don’t take your annoyance out on them, that is not acting fairly. Solve your problem first.

5. Don’t issue punishments in anger you will only regret it later, calm yourself and then issue a punishment that will work.

6. Seek help: It is not a shame to seek help if you are constantly having anger issues. A parenting group, your non parent friends, official counselors are all helpful avenues.

So it is safe to say the holidays were not all that kind to me, I fumed, I vexed and I might even have cursed a few times, silently to myself. But I am a parental work in progress and I will only try harder. Saying that myself and the bored children are awfully glad that school does start this week and things will go back to normal!

By Mayuri Jayasinghe