As a parent our responsibilities to our children are clear cut, feed, clothe and house “said” child. Furnish him or her with a good education and release them to the world, job done, then wallow satisfactorily in your parenting success. But for parenting to be really a success should we not be teaching our children the true values in life. The important values of love, respect, honesty and tolerance. Yes we can produce Harvard geniuses, Olympian athletes or musical maestros, but if we don’t put out good decent people, have we really been successful in our parenting?. I would be extremely proud if any of my children achieved greats in their individual abilities, but I would be even more prouder if my children also displayed decency to their peers, accepted their fellow man whole heartedly and not held biases based on the other’s skin color, creed or social standing. This would indeed quieten my parenting insecurities and show me that I DID get it right in the end!

But to achieve this success, lies in our hands. To produce these decent individuals are our responsibility, there is no delegating of responsibility on to schools, teachers or other family members. Teaching these important values are not like a math’s problem, you have a set of rules, applied and thus result obtained. These variants of behavior are not so clear cut, they require oneself to review our own closeted beliefs. Our conscious ideas, thoughts and modes of behavior which are tolerated in our secure social circles, but once that safe boat ride is rocked, our value system is truly tested. This is what we need to teach our children to stay strong when everything around them is in a state of chaos. Here are a few ways of instilling values of respect in children:

1. Practice what you preach. Children learn best when they learn from example. Thus you can tell them what is right and wrong, but practice what you sermon as well.

2. Teach your children about the fundamentals of respecting those who are different to us in appearance, in religion and in cultures. Praise them when they show respectable behaviour. We might all be different, but in any culture we all follow the same moral code of good versus bad.

3. Discuss how respect should be shown, correct it when it doesn’t happen. If your child shows disrespect to an elder or in any other situation, immediately correct them and explain to them how they should behave. Children are still in the process of learning, it will require many more tries before they get it right. Be patient.

4. In school teach your children that bullying, ridiculing of others is not right behaviour. Not to hurt others because they have been hurt themselves. Misunderstandings and bad behaviour does not have to be solved through violence and show your children there are other ways of solving their problems.

5. Respect doesn’t only apply to others. Teach your child to respect themselves, in this way, it will also help them to stay on the correct path. If your child valued themselves, they will not be easily swayed into partaking in dangerous activities that will only be detrimental to themselves.

6. Get your children involved in charity work, environmental clean ups etc, this will in turn teach them about helping and being useful in society. These are all ways of moulding the socially responsible individual.

Respect is just one aspect of the intangible quality that we need to teach our children. In the current day and age, respect and peaceful tolerance of others is an important factor to be practiced by one and all. Let’s start with the children first, this is the only way to end future disputes. Let’s not make respect a lost art, but one to be practiced daily.

By Mayuri Jayasinghe