Spanking is a topic that has many parents divided. Before we have children we critically view the exasperated mother trying to control an unruly child and we think to ourselves, that woman is an example of parenting gone wrong, no way am I going to admonish my children, its going be fun, laughter and rainbows everyday.
Fast forward ten years and after two or more children (four in my case) running havoc in your house, you hear yourself screaming like a banshee for some peace and ordered behavior. Yes you have turned into that woman!
I spank my children. I can just hear the collective gasp of horror from the group of liberally practicing parents. To them I reply, please hear me out. Yes I agree that violently hitting your child does not send forth any message. But this is not violence I am advocating, it is a mere spanking, where the child’s ego is more bruised than anything else.
Also spanking does not have to be practiced on every child, some have to be more disciplined than the others. Then the reason that instigated this article in the first place is that some of my children have now out-grown a spanking and now how do I discipline them?
Spanking used to be my final threat of discipline when all was going amok, sometimes just a mere threat of a possible smack was enough for the wayward child to control themselves. Now as I vehemently wag my finger and threaten a smack to one of my older children, you can see them trying to control their fits of giggles and even I must admit I sound mildly ridiculous.
How to discipline a child without spanking
Taking away their favorite things: As children get older they start to get more attached to their toys. It doesn’t become just another teddy bear or doll, in comes the x-boxes, the nintendo’s, if you have to discipline your older child, take away their favorite toys. Explain to them that it will be returned back to them once their behavior has improved..jpg)
Grounding: This is a great way to distract older children since social interaction is very important in that age group. Forbid play dates, talking to their friends on the phone etc, this is a sure fire way to get them to stop and listen.
Disciplinary chores: If your children misbehaves another effective way to discipline them is to give them chores that they normally would not do. Get them to wash the dishes, clean the house, wash the car etc. They are old enough to do such tasks, but they won’t be very happy doing them.
Dolling out the punishment: Spanking is a quick and easy way of dealing with the bad behavior, all other forms of disciplining requires action from your part, make sure you carry out the discipline given. Be consistent, do not make threats but not follow through with them. Your child has to feel the downside of the consequences their actions.
Good behavior: Children are complicated and get more complicated as they get older. When you find them behaving well, be quick to praise or reward that behavior. This is a great way to teach older kids accepted modes of behavior for they are able to rationalize that good behavior results in praise.
I feel spanking does work for a when children are younger. But as your children grow their problems get more complicated and it can’t all be solved with a mere smack on the bottom. Therefore as your children get grow older, we as parents should grow as well. We should learn to adapt our parenting styles to suit the child, for despite all the changes our love for children will always be strong. No more spanking.
By Mayuri Jayasinghe
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