Skeletons in your closet are awkward as it is, what with the Freddie Mercury wigs and Stevie Wonder shades but it’s a whole new level of awkward when it’s the skeletons in your girlfriend’s closet. She might not tell you in hopes of sheltering you from her Coyote Ugly days but you would be comfortable knowing where your girl’s friend Brad’s hand has been before you shake it won’t you?
On most occasions women follow the principle of omission at the absence of inquiry when it comes to their past lives, translation; if you don’t ask, she probably won’t tell. Here’s a list of skeletons you might want to ask about.
Previous engagements
Previous engagements, more so even than past relationships are well guarded secrets. While you reserve a right to know about something that serious, a woman on her part will not be comfortable sharing this piece of information mainly because it puts a dent in the fantasy you might have about being perfect for her and vice versa. In addition to shattering the dream it also opens up your curiosity to questions about the other guy or in a really bad situation, other guys
Sleeping to get to the top
No discrimination to any gender intended but if your girl is a Director at 22 and her dad doesn’t own the company, you might want to check the relationship your girl has/had with her superiors (once again no discrimination to gender, I’m sure men do the same). A reason why she would hide this from you is that it might reduce your opinion of her and if she prides herself for her career, it might take away the admiration factor.
It’s important also to know what things are like at her workplace, she might not necessarily have slept around, promiscuity can get you through a few tight places and women who use this strategy to get places tend to find themselves continuing to do so. Think about it next time you turn down an invitation to attend one of her office functions.
Ex fatso
This is a comical issue for men but might be a life sized skeleton in your girl’s closet, women who used to be overweight and have gotten down to a body weight befitting of dating you, tend to be terrified of images and videos which might tie her back to her fatter days.
The main reason for this fear is the paranoia that she might blow back up to that size, in all honesty this is a secret she’s entitled to take to her grave.
Mental illness
This is not so much a laughing matter, part of the reason why women and men in general hide their mental illness histories, even from the ones they love is mainly due to the stigma attached to having a mental illness and the perception that all mental illnesses total to being loony. However it would help to know her psychological conditions so that you are prepared to handle any outbreaks should there be any.
Addictions
I needn’t say much about this, nor can I even if I wanted to, but you get the point and it’s important to know so that you’ll catch on quicker if she’s relapsing into her addiction.
Criminal records
Well there really isn’t much you can do if you’re dating a felon, you either run to the cops or you play Mr. & Mrs. Smith for as long as you can.
Internet porn
This is quite the predicament honestly but thanks to the recent Amanda Todd incident, I’m not at the liberty of being my usual snarky self about this issue but seriously if your girl was on tape or the internet, just make sure she never brings her show-reel to meet your mom.
Sleeping with friends
This one is a real “ouch”, be absolutely sure she hasn’t wound up sleeping with one of your friends, nothing could be more awkward and irritating than the chance of your girlfriend having slept with your best friend.
By Dilshan Senaratne
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0 Comments
Yomama says:
Apr 12, 2013 at 12:00 amJeesus! son, live for the future not the past!. If she turns out to be a previously engaged, ambitious, retarded ex fatso criminal with a drug
Dilshan Senaratne says:
Nov 06, 2013 at 12:00 amHaahahaa Amen!