Why do siblings squabble? This is an age-old question that has many a wise man in fits of utter vexation.

If there’s anything my children have in common, that is there inane ability to pick a good fight. Of course this is only within the family, friends and strangers are treated with respectable decorum.

The older two will fight over everything under the sun from who ate the last popsicle to who should finish telling a good story. The squabbling doesn’t stop there, having four children in the house each one takes turns to pair up with the other.

The older fights with the younger, brother fights sister and so on.  At the center of it all, is left myself to act as moderating referee to verdict pronouncing judge.

My peaceful household is most times disturbed with the screaming for “MOM” to of course resume peace once again. It can be exhausting mentally and physically trying to reason with the upset child to chiding the naughty child.

Deep down I just wish my kids would be one big happy family and forget the squabbling, but reality is not so and the mysterious laws of the universe say that if you have a sibling you have to pick to fight and eventually run to Mum for justice.

Therefore in the interest of day to day harmony, here’s how to keep the peace:

House Rules

We all have our certain expectations in terms of behavior at home. Reinforce them, NOT when your children are in the midst of a full blown war of words, but at quiet times like when at the dinner table or when all are lounging about.

It is best to reiterate the accepted behavior when peace is in the house. For at the moment of a fight each one will look to see what rule the other has broken and everything is lost.

Also get your children to help make the house rules, ask them how one should treat other’s property to how one should behave to one another, it’s easier for your children to accept them when they are involved in the process.

Two corners

Despite the fights, my children love playing together though this will result in most times a squabble about something. In this instance separate the two, this is a good way to ensure that they play peacefully, for they will do anything in the interest of playing.

My space

Everybody, young or old, needs their own personal space. Make it a point for everyone to respect that, each family member should be able to escape to or keep their personal items in that space.

This will help the squabbles of getting into each other’s privacy.

Do not get involved.

When your children are in the throes of a fight do not always rush to get involved. Depending on the gravity of the fight, let them shout it out and reason the situation amongst themselves.

I know most times you feel it will never happen, but there is always the reasoning voice. It is also good for children to fight and let out their angst rather than let it fester for the next minute they are the best of friends again.

This might be something as adults we should practice rather than hold lifelong grudges.

Fights are an everyday occurrence in our household. Just at the point at which I’ve had enough and I’m ready to tear my hair out, my brood sit hugging each other watching T.V, they are the best of friends once again. So remember that these moments of utter frustration are just bouts of momentary madness.

The bond that siblings have is invincible, there might be a few scraps along the way, but it is one relationship that you can rely on.

By Mayuri Jayasinghe