The Dynamics of the School Playground
Outwardly innocent, filled with the laughter of children, the school playground dupitiously is a pit of childhood politics that can make or break a child's heart and soul. A melting pot of differences, children of different class, creed, height, weight, moral back ground are thrown together and required to get along as one, it is the greatest social experiment of time. We all know that children are honest, in fact through their honesty comes the creepings of cruel forth righteousness. Anyone is quick to point out if your hair cut is funny, you seem a little chubby or too skinny, you don't know any cool jokes or you are no good at basketball so move on. Yes it is honesty at its purity, and which in a normal adult world is unacceptable, in the school playground these are the rules and one has to adapt and conform. From the first day of the school year, there is an undocumented segregation of children, from the girly girls to the tough boys from the cool kids to the educationally motivated, in an unspoken fashion one stealthily finds their little niche complete with team mates that will serve as conspiring partners for the next eight to ten years.
What happens if one decides to move from the segregated groups? Unlike the jumping of politicians within parties in our own modern political forum, the moving of school children into other groups is a much more complicated and harried situation. As groups form, some are looked down upon, others rev eared, how can your child move unscathed. You might question if there really should be groups?, why cant they all just play together, could be any exasperated parents cry. The reality is that this is where the segregation of individuals occur. As adults we do not socialize with every individual we see, there are those who we share mutual interests, similar trains of thought that we deviate towards. These initial modes of belongingess starts in the playground, knowing who to get along with and who not too. So we cannot really question why the segregation should exist instead it would be prudent for us to accept that it does and help our children as best as can.
A few words of advice on surviving the playground politics:
1. Teach your children to look for children who hold similar interests as themselves, be it a book series that they are reading or a communal interest in science or sports. These should be what children should look to sharing with others. Race, religion and social background are the least factors that they should look at when making friends. These are important and positive lessons to be instilled in our young, who as adults will accept all societies reducing unnecessary troubles that plague societies nowadays.
2. Always make your child understand that they are able to come and talk to you about any problems at school. Sometimes we tend to minimalize a situation which we might see as trivial but to a child it is a very important moment their school life. With no one to go for help they might internalize their problems and could lead to behavioral issues later on.
3. Be quite precise in the ideals and values that you hold as a family. As you let your children loose into the world, they will mix with others of different views, which is perfectly fine, but teach them about tolerance, understanding and your own family values which should always come first.
4. Do not get involved but instead let your child deal with the playground situation. The worst that you can do is fight your battles for your child. Do not be that over bearing parent who is always looking over your child's shoulders. You feel it is out of love, but there are times to let go and this is one of them. Be the support not the relinquisher of problems, for your child will always face tricky situations in life they need to learn to deal with themselves.
A child's school life can sometimes be the best time in their lives. They develop friendships that can stand the test of time. Playground politics do exist but you will be surprised at how our children are stalwart at dealing with them. Do not actively get involved, be there for support and the rest will sort themselves out.
By Mayuri Jayasinghe
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