The single biggest regret men harbour late into their lives and possibly take with them to their graves is the loss of a great romance and is not in fact a better career or the BMW he didn’t get around to driving.
The funny thing is that love has a way of burning brightest at the start and the end, sizzling into a pestering dim light through the majority of its being; shedding light on the age old adages, “the grass is greener on the other side” and “you never know what you have till it’s gone”. In my opinion truer words haven’t been spoken.
As sorrowful as it may seem, great romances lose their sheen in front of our very eyes every day, hindered by insignificant obstacles of distance, time and material wealth. The one sure thing to preserve your Juliet is to avoid making the all too common relationship mistakes we fall into the habit of making with relative ease. Here’s a list of common errors men make in the pursuit of their love.
Expecting her to change
It’s a sad truth that people are never content and dissatisfaction with almost everything is man’s greatest gift and curse. If you think about it humanity has been living in relatively favourable conditions since the early 90’s, there hasn’t been a lot that needed be invented to warrant survival, but from then to now the pace at which technology changes and the amount of scientific discoveries being made have increased tens of folds, the only explanation for which is our perpetual dissatisfied nature; while it’s convenient that the iPhone 5 will be new in stores for less than an year when iPhone something else will replace it, it’s not so cool when we seek out our soul-mates with the same level of unimpressed dissatisfaction. Nobody is perfect and that’s a given, but trying to change people to fit your idea of the perfect girlfriend will not end well for either party concerned.
Non compatibility
Joan Rivers very aptly puts it in her monologues at the Apollo how sex appeal and good looks are the primary concern for men when they choose their partners, as condescending as it may sound in theory, in practice we do tend to weigh in favour of physical beauty as opposed to anything else on the list.
The problem is that eventually when the fires of lust and attraction simmer down, all that remains are two people who no longer have much to do together, the obvious way to overcome this problem is to seek out a partner who shares interests with you.
Assumptions
Men as well as women tap into the shared intellect of the world for insight, this is something that has served well in surviving the times but isn’t the best way to go about in love. Think of it this way, if every man in the history of mankind ate poisonous mushrooms or set fire to themselves, none of us would’ve been alive; instead the shared intellect which is that of the people who have seen the dangers of fire and poison mushrooms is passed down generation to generation in order to avoid casualty by the same terms.
The problem is that men and women also apply the assumptions previously made about love in the same way without realizing that while all fire burns not all women are looking for Greek gods with six-pac abs, in fact some are just looking for a little company.
.jpg)
Compromise
This one is really a given, love is a matter of give and take and neither give-give nor take-take is a good replacement for a healthy relationships where mutual compromise is a valued virtue. A helpful tip is to see things from each other’s points of view instead of your own and then to mutually decide what may be the best course of action.
Communication
Men specifically tend to hold their feelings bottled in, due mostly to their identification of gender roles growing up with the attitude that talking about feelings is a form of weakness.
While your feelings towards Titanic might not make you very macho in your partner’s eyes, your feelings about anything concerning the relationship is something that needs be shared.
By Dilshan Senaratne
.jpg)
.jpg)
0 Comments