Well parents, 2015 has dawned with a bang and once again we have another whole year stretched out before us in which we can give ‘this parenting thing’ another shot and see if we can get it right again. I am sure you’re all curious to know what regrets I have, it’s hard to pinpoint them exactly but I know, being human I have had some. I’ve probably not counted to ten before I screamed at one of my children for breaking my good crystal or said a few choice words in front of my open mouth eight year old when I stubbed my toe to which she runs off shouting ’mummy said a naughty word’ or ordered way too many pizzas resulting in Pizza Hut giving me free coupons as a Christmas present for being one of their best customers, not really something to brag about I would say. But enough of that, that was last year and this year I plan to have a stellar record, I plan to dazzle the world with my parenting abilities, just in case you share the same sentiments here are some parenting ‘fails’ to avoid.

1. Giving more attention to the youngest child

Having four children at home, getting my attention is like meeting your medical specialist. Please take a number and check in with the nurse!. It is instinctive to immediately give preference to the most youngest and thus most vulnerable, but it is also important to remember that we have other children in the house who equally require your attention. When there is an imbalance in the attention given those left out will start to feel inferior and unloved and might even start acting up to get your attention.

2. Over protection and pampering

Our children are our greatest achievements in life and seeing them in any distress causes us only grief. But there is a fine line between protecting them and pampering them. By teaching them to cope and deal with their problems rather than solve them ourselves, we are reiterating valuable life lessons for their futures.

3. Neglecting the child

With our busy work schedules and the availability of good help, we sometimes inadvertently neglect out children. Despite the fact that you might always be around, the children will not be spending that time with you but under the supervision of a nanny, for you to occasionally give them an acknowledgement is not enough. Thus with the lack of your one to one attention the child does not learn any social skills and would later grow up to be cold and unsociable.

4. Comparing children to each other

Every time my children bring home tests and projects I have to take a moment and stop myself from asking ‘who got the highest’ or ‘who won the prize’. By comparing your children to each other you give rise to feelings of jealousy and lack of self confidence in later life.

5. Authoritarian Parenting

With four children in the house and the occasional cousin coming to stay I have to be strict in my parenting and make sure all rules are adhered to, otherwise there will be chaos and mayhem, with little accomplished. But according to the experts, authoritative parenting is not the best option, constantly being shouted and scolded causes children to lack self-confidence and become procrastinators later on.

When parenting, it is good to be aware of the problems at hand, but it is unlike fixing a broken down machine you can’t just identify the problem areas, find solutions and then expect things to be alright forever. It is an ongoing process, constantly worked on and revalued. I think one of the first factors to acknowledge is that we are not perfect parents and there will be moments where we will get it horribly wrong, but don’r berate yourself over it and say that’s it I’m not cut out for this parenting thing. For the truth of the matter is that your child’s all you have got, so rather than let down the most precious thing you own in the world, you pull your socks up and try stronger and harder. Happy Parenting, dear parents. I know 2015 is going to be your year!

By Mayuri Jayasinghe