Dry throat, sweaty palms even down to an occasional nervous tick can all be symptomatic of my current state of self. You ask what sad state of affairs has befallen upon me to be reduced to this maddening mess, that has robbed me of restful nights of sleep. It is of course the School Final Exams. My children are preparing for their school end of term exams. In the scheme of the world’s problems this is obviously trivial. No great loss of human life or destruction of property will occur if the final exams are not conquered. But being a parent, my children’s welfare is always first in my thoughts.

Thus despite my views about “exams” I want them to be successful. In analysis of my dire state the reasoning behind it is wholly due to the complete lack of interest my children show in studying for these much hated exams. This year the older two face the wrath of the examination boards, with my son sitting for finals for the first time. Unfortunately, they show no interest in using the weeks before to prepare for them, thus resulting in my perplexed state. From cajoling to encouraging to even engaging in typical Sri Lankan tactics of bribing, it takes a Herculean effort for me to get them to crack open a book. My family comfort with the thoughts that as they get older, their views on studying will change.
But what do I do in the meantime, I cannot sit quietly by and watch them crash and burn at the yearly exam, not because they are not capable but because they’d rather be playing X-BOX than learning French vocabulary. I am sure many parents are faced with the situation of “disinterested children” at exam time. Rather than focus on how we can help our children, here are some ways in which we as parents can deal with our CHILDREN’S exam behaviour.

1. Start early,this is beneficial for both parent and child. We all know that exams are on the way, if you do have a very distracted child that is difficult to tame then begin the process as early as possible. Pin them down even for half an hour and revise some work at hand.

2. Do not get carried away with the parental force at school which displays more competition than the students themselves. It is not all about how much tuition is had or how many A’s your child gets. What is most important is that your child knows the subject matter which will inturn reflect on how well they do in their exams. Do not make yourself feel inadequate as a parent for not engaging in severe tactics, for that will unnecessarily stress you out and the exercise will become more arduous than it should. Do what works for you and your child.

3. Parenting is never easy and children have minds of their own. However much it troubles you when your child does not achieve their potential, do not admonish yourself on your parenting. As parents, we can only advise and guide and hope our good intentions are taken to heart. I struggle with this everyday.

4. Revising does not always have to be a gruelling exercise. If you start it early enough, you have time to make it a little fun. A biology lesson can be had in the garden, dissecting flowers. Learning measurements can be accomplished in a cooking lesson. And a lesson of scrabble can always help the struggling speller.

5. Children will never be receptive about revising. My ones scream and shout at the mere mention of it, which in turn leads me to scream and shout for anything to get done. It is indeed a mentally exhausting process. Instead, make a timetable, give your child some independence, get them to follow the study timetable, with adequate breaks and treats along the way. This is a different way to approach the unapproachable without you policing along the way.

Exams in our house are still weeks away, so I’m practicing what I preach, we started early. It wasn’t easy, there were a lot of tears on my part as well as the children’s. But we’ve gotten over that hurdle, the children know they can’t escape the exams and have started with bouts of revising. Getting good grades on impromptu tests has also encouraged them to strive harder, I hope this attitude will last. Good Luck to all the parents and children, it’s exam time!

By Mayuri Jayasinghe