It is indeed the beginning of a brand new year and we once again revisit those feelings of inadequacies we have in our lives. We could be slimmer, richer, healthier and of course better parents. Exasperated with another hairy parenting day, I wistfully asked the “Google” gods for any form of advice on bettering my parenting. They did not disappoint, on to the wide open screen of the internet plains popped a zillion ways in which I could be a happier and wiser parent. The reasoning for my quest, to appease my parenting woes because frankly this year I envision myself being a different sort of parent. I want to be that constant happy, shiny, have it together, can save the world and them some with a swish of my apron kinda mum. When I envisioned being a parent I saw a different picture altogether…it was a more saner, less harried, unicorns and rainbow’s sort of vision. What happened to my perfect parent of the future?
In the beginning we all start off with the best of intentions. As babies we coo satisfactorily at our little bundles of joy, hugging them close with think life can never be any more perfect. But no one prepares you for the changes in life, body and soul you go through raising children. Along with giving you an immense sense of pride and joy, they wring your good humor with every tantrum, every defiance, they have you in fits of exasperation and vexation as to why they can’t follow your simple instructions. They can turn you into creatures of yourself that even you would not recognize. Is this what parenting is all about. Have we some way along the line lost our way, have we possibly allowed the children to take over and deviated from our parenting plan.
The truth of the matter is that there is no parenting plan and nor is there ever a perfect parent. One always thinks that the other has it better than them, but we are all filled with a conundrum of imperfections which are perfectly acceptable. There is no hard and steadfast methodology in parenting children. They change you as much as you change them. It’s a dance with each one allowing the other to lead in stops and starts.
But there are of course key things to keep in mind when being a good parent:
1. Be involved in your child’s life : Sometimes we are so busy with trying to get then to school, to the next activity, getting them to finish homework, finish dinner and then bed, that we really forget to get involved in their lives. It is important to spend those few minutes discussing the school yard politics. In our lives these are all petty issues, but to a child this is their whole life. Having a parent who sits and listens to them through the small stuff shows them that you are there for them no matter what, when they get older.
2. Change your parenting style : As your children grow and take turns through the glorious roads of childhood, it is not only them who have to adapt to the changes, but to be a good parent you will have to make changes along the way as well. You will have to change your tactics or plans of actions to help your children through each stage of their life.
3. Love hard and completely : You can never go wrong with loving your children too much. Love heals all wounds, clears any doubts and soothes any troubled souls. To feel love is to build confidence, to open the door to happiness and to make your children feel invincible. Love never has boundaries.
.jpg)
Thus at the end of my research and this article I realized that there never is a perfect parent. Having this idyllic image of a Mrs Doubtfireish / Nanny McPhee / Stepford Wife character was a whole load of nonsense. Infact in the scheme of things, we are all great parents. My wishful image of the perfect parent has been horrendously holding back the great parent that I really am. So, as we once again resume the cultivation of our parenting side, we have to accept the fact that we might be flawed parents but we are filled with 100 percent of pure love for our children. Therefore parents, relax, you’re doing a good job so far and this year you will just grow into better parents, one step at a time.
By Mayuri Jayasinghe
0 Comments