I parented... I have no regrets!
Well it's that time of the year to write that article... that article where I lament about how I could have parented better, where in hindsight I regret every punishment doled out, every ultimatum declared, why I wasn't organized and did every child get the attention they required, for if they turn out to be delinquents, it will be the mother they blame! Yes, 2016 is around the corner, and THAT article is twitching at my fingertips to be typed out, so us parents in unison can woefully pat ourselves on the back and say..”Hey, we tried kids, we're sorry, but we'll get it right next year”.
But wait just one second, with the closure of another year and a hopeful beginning of a New Year, one thing I most certainly is NOT feeling is regret! Yes I parented and boy was it hard. There were days where it drove me to the depths of despair, it had me on my knees in frustration at the end of each day. But what I did I do the next day, I never gave up, I was back again, packing lunchboxes, car pooling, refereeing fights, the whole nine yards, I showed up and I gave it my all. But who said parenting was easy? You have after all been given the greatest gifts you can possess, your children, and when much is given, much is expected from you. Of course you were never given a step by step guidebook nor were you given that perfect child that listened to all you said. Instead life made it very colourful. Your beautiful baby that made your heart stop at a glance, was quite determined to stay up all night, but of course sleep during the day whilst you took on zombie mode. Then the hours spent dealing with the inquisitive toddler who grew up to be a wondrous child full of thoughts and opinions of their own of course much different from yours! Yes as a parent you are given thrill seeking joys in everyday moments, sprinkled for a bit of spice with moments of utter vexation.
As the newborn baby enters the world, thus begins your life as parents. It is indeed a journey that will never end. For whether your child be two or forty two, your parenting self will always be on guard. Therefore with regards to parenting we cannot really have regrets for parenting is such a relationship that evolves through the passage of time. We meld and mold ourselves to our children and they in turn to us, through each stage of life. Yes we could sometimes look back ad say we could had done it differently, but what is more important is that we were there as parent to do what we had to do rather than whether it was right or wrong, for there never is a definite answer of correctness. It is more based on how your relationship is with your child, it is gauged on the amount of laughter which rings through your hallways, the hugs and kisses given at the drop of a hat, the happiness that cloaks your household. This is when you are getting your parenting right, if one was to judge.
To tweak the lines of a famous pop song, “Don't look back in regret, I heard them say”, don't look back on this year and regret your parenting choices and decisions made. Instead rejoice at your good fortunate on being a parent, take comfort in your precious children who are happy and healthy. Look back in love and let that love for child, for your family spill over to the next year and let it be a good one. HAPPY NEW YEAR to all my readers and fellow parents!
By Mayuri Jayasinghe
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