I’m not sure how it happened but 2014 is here. With a bang of a firework and a hoot of a horn, the firecrackers blast in the new year.

I hug my family close and think, has a whole year really gone by?..Where was I?. I know I was there physically for I’m the one who organized  birthday parties, made play costumes, tended to feverish children, went to weddings, tutored children through exams and even organized this New Year party!

In my personal opinion, despite the year being filled with highs and lows, it has gone by all too fast.

My son has grown a couple of inches taller, my sweet nine year is too cool to wear frilly dresses and the baby is now starting to do a few sprints. Really, no jokes!

For me, these beautiful days, filled with the pitter patter of tiny feet, important votes held on who should have the last sweetie or whether batman should really be part of our household are my glory days.

They are my days filled with happiness and joy and I wouldn’t exchange it for the world.

Yes I agree I could do away with the squabbling, a few nights of undisturbed sleep and an occasional dinner with my husband in adult solitude.

But looking back I feel blessed at how rich my life with kids has been, the chocolaty hugs, the scribbled “I love yous”, where the “o” have a smiley face are worth their weight in gold.

But of course I also have regrets, mainly parenting regrets for no one said the road to parenting was easy, here are some of my new resolutions to be worked on in this year.

1. Never compare Parenting styles.

I do not admit to having all the answers when it comes to parenting. I sometimes look on wistfully at some of my friends who literally “have-it-together”.

Their children are extremely well behaved, getting excellent grades, reading dutifully and quietly in a corner all the while snacking on homemade cookies, made by their mother!.

Whilst in my case, I have to run behind one child to chide them about their grades, the other I plead with to sit still for one minute and after all this chaos it’s a wonder that I actually fry some nuggets out of a box for tea rather than order take away.

My parenting can be chaotic, there is constant admonitions for them to behave or continues battles on personal improvement.

But through all the chaos my children do understand that I love them unconditionally and this is all that matters.

2. Fight for attention

Having four children at home, one is always fighting for my attention, if you have a large family you understand my predicament.

Usually the one who shouts the loudest most times gets all my attention, which means that the ones with quieter less demanding personalities, accept their lot and move on.
This year I must strive to maintain a healthy balance on spending time with my children.

You might say well we’re always together, but sometimes one on one time spent doing an activity together is very important for the child.

3. Shed the unwanted.

As I get older I have started to value relationships that truly matter. Do not feel that you must continue to maintain those corruptingly destructive family relationships all for the sake of a family bond.

I find such who people are not concerned about my children, do not offer a good example to my children and really cannot be called upon in a time of emergency unnecessary relationships to maintain.

They tend to wallow in their own strife, this year unfortunately I will not have time to waste in their despair.

4. Look after yourself.

As I look back upon the busy year, I do remember burning  the candles on both ends, catching a few hours of sleep and galloping on with my busy day, snacking when I can and resting for a few minutes if time permits.

But I realize unhappily I am not getting younger, only older and such a lifestyle is impossible to maintain. As I take care of others I must also remember to take care of myself.

5. Shout a little less and love a whole lot more.

When there is chaos in the house and I’m exhausted the easiest solution to put a stop to the madness is for me to shout, throw out some punishments and regain control.

But I realize that these are after all our children and they will be so for only a fraction of a moment in our lifetime only to be gone sooner than you think, being adults leading their own lives.

Hug them whilst you can, love them whilst you can.

Of course my parenting regret list is quite long but then I think I’ll take baby steps and work on just a few this year since parenting resolutions have a mysterious way of disappearing sooner than you think.

One regret I never have is becoming a mother, this mysterious and wonderful occupation which tugs at your heart strings and pays you in chocolately kisses, i is the most wonderful job on earth and I look forward to another whole year of it.

By Mayuri Jayasinghe