With a nursing baby and three other schooling kids, it is safe to say that I definitely have my hands full. My newborn who sleeps like a hibernating bear during the day decides to spend most of the night awake, gurgling and cooing in her baby talk enticing me to keep her company.
Thus there are some days where I have been awake for nearly 24 hours, for once the baby decides to fall asleep around five in the morning, my day starts with the other three, where the next eight hours are full of school, activities and homework.
After one particularly tiring night, as I collapsed at the breakfast table after tucking the baby in the cot and sending the older children to school. I was joined by my husband, who looked particularly refreshed after a full night of sleep, he glanced over at me and said you’re going to burnout if you continue like this. As I gave him a ‘if looks could kill’ look I realized however much I hate to admit it, he was right.
My hectic, demanding lifestyle was surely going to get the better of me soon. Even now by the end of the day I am an irritable mess and my temper is short with any misbehaving child. According to the experts, burnout is defined as mental or physical breakdown caused by overwork and stress.
Usually when you have family and work to juggle and if you do not take the right precautions to look after yourself, you are most likely to fall victim to ‘Burnout’. It can happen to anyone. Here are some tips of how to save yourself from mommy burnout.
How to prevent Mummy burnout:
Parenting is a two manned job. Rope in your husband to hold the baby, do homework, play with the kids etc, but remember not to hover around when they are doing the parenting. For nine times out of ten, you won’t like the way they burp the baby, their style of doing homework or the rough games he plays with the children. If you are present you feel compelled to interfere, use that time to positively, cool down, set your mind straight, do another pending task either way it is helping to ease your burden and minimize stress.
Remember that you are also important. We go through family life with only caring for the well-being of our kids, but remember that you are also an integral part in keeping your kids safe and healthy and so if you burnout then you are unable to care for them successfully. If possible organize with other family members to watch the kids for a day or half a day, and them use that time to recoup. Go pamper yourself, when you feel beautiful, you feel happier and your positive energy is bountiful. Get some sleep, start a hobby just for yourself, even though we are mothers we are after all human with wants and interests that once fulfilled will make us more positive individuals.
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Avoid unnecessary input from others. Especially in the situation of bringing up kids, everyone is quick to criticize and give advice. This might dampen your self-confidence and you become unsure of yourself, causing you to work harder just to please other people. Remember that you should parent your child according to your beliefs and not anyone else. Living up to other people’s expectations is a waste of time and energy and is totally unnecessary.
Don’t stress yourself over the small stuff. As long as your children are healthy and happy, you are doing an excellent job. Don’t stress that you have not washed the curtains this week and you might have guests or have you forgotten a friend’s birthday again. These are not ‘end of the world’ situations for you to unnecessary stress over. Dirty curtains can always be washed another day and good friends will always understand.
Always be proud of your accomplishments, however small. So your three year now remembers to flush the toilet or you finally got the kids to eat carrots. Despite how ridiculous, or insignificant they might seem in the scheme of things, you worked hard to achieve them, be proud!
As mothers we look after everyone in the family, from old aunts down to even the servants in the household. So it is imperative that as we fight on in this great big battle of life, we remember to look after ourselves, for without our existence, the family unit will start to crumble. Be strong, be positive, look after yourselves and avoid MUMMY BURNOUT!
By Mayuri Jayasinghe
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