Mastering the Art of Motivation
There are many a parenting day that goes by when I don’t roll my eyes in despair and think WHY aren’t my children motivated to do well at school or try more at sports or even just be motivated to do a simple lesson of homework. I shout exasperatedly into the Universe..WHY WHY WHY!!! Unfortunately no one returns my cry for help with a magic solution, there is no magic wand to flick or no magic pill to take. The ugly truth is that we have to help our children to get motivated! Most times I am extremely motivated I start the day off raring to go, let’s ace spelling lessons I say, let's swim the 50ms in 10seconds flat, lets annihilate those French verbs. I dance around the kitchen table being positive giving high five’s all in all being more motivated than the energizer bunny. My children look at me coolly over their cereals and no one bats an eyelid, except maybe the baby to give me a clap, that’s the only humane respond I get. The older two who this display is directed at couldn’t be the least bothered, “Mum’s acting funny again one goes to another’ as they head off to school forgetting water bottles, forgetting swim bags and of course forgetting that math homework. No one is the least worried about doing well at school.
As a parent I find their attitude mindbogglingly frustrating. I want them to do well, to excel and to reach their full potential. I can be motivated for my kids till I am blue in the face but it is up to them to put motivation into fruition.
How to inspire your kids to motivate themselves:
1. Anxiety does not result in motivation: Your motivation does not immediately mean your child will be motivated. Most times they will do things just to please you; there is no voluntarily doing the best for themselves. Learn to motivate your children but not to push them so that they are not doing things to please you.
2. Learn by example: In order for your child to be inspired, be inspiring yourself. Expose them to those who have done well in a particular field, talk to them about the goals they want to achieve. Never push your child to do something you want them to do rather than the other way around for it will be a constant battle of wills and the eventual death of the parent child relationship.
3. Parental duty: Sometimes you think your child is really good at a particular sport, it is your parental duty to push them to their full potential. But this is not always the case. Your children’s abilities should come naturally to them and it is a more positive approach for your children to find their own calling rather than be stuck in an activity that their parent is more interested in doing than them.
4. Motivating the impossibles: Some children love school, but most children would rather socialize with their friends and spend the hours at home shooting the breeze rather than getting ahead in their studies. Handling those children are the true parenting tests. Do not stick to the normal forms of revising, mix it up, make it different, this is only way to get the unmotivated child to even crack open a book.
5. Do the consequence game: We all have to learn from our mistakes and even though as parent this is a harder lesson for you than your child. Allow your child to make his or her own choices and learn from them. Instead of saying for example if he doesn’t finish his work he doesn’t get his iPad, say if you finish your work in time you get some iPad time. Put the consequences of his action in his hands.
I am sure many will have reams to write on how to motivate kids and help despairingly parents, but we must all start with baby steps and these are ways to get your children out of their blasé mood. They were not lying when they said being a parent is the most hardest job you have in this world. It is also the gratifying to see the joy of success in the motivated child. Hope your hunt for motivation was successful!
By Mayuri Jayasinghe
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