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As I clean up after a sick child, I hear the baby crying for her bottle. With just the geckos to keep me company I plod along to the kitchen to make the formula, a quick glance at the kitchen clock says its five o clock, in the morning. Just great, another night of no sleep, for having spent all night with a sick child, my day will start with a bang at six with the breakfast preparation, school run, household chores, activities etc etc, the day doesn’t suddenly get put on hold because little old me didn’t get a chance to sleep.
The other day I was having a conversation with one of my childless friends and she goes ‘Well, all I’ve got to do is finish off work, have a light dinner, watch Grey’s Anatomy and then bed, what are your plans for the evening?...My plans??!!!..where do I start from the numerous kid’s activities to household commitments, I have to schedule toilet breaks and just when I collapse in bed after saying goodnight to the older kids the baby decides to wake up and scream for attention. Motherhood is not for wimps.
Despite the obvious drawbacks I would not change my situation for anything. The days my kids go to visit my mother I am lost. I walk around the house aimlessly, till my husband goes nuts when I ask him for the umpteenth time ‘Are the kids okay, you think?’ My children are my life. When that tiny little person enters the world, whether you are ready for them or not they take over your life, they have you on your knees with immeasurable joy and pride at just a little smile.
Everything else comes to a standstill and you automatically change your priorities without a question asked, forget the fact that you have a Phd or are the CEO of a blue-chip company your children need you and you long to stay home with them. Having four kids I am an old pro at the hazardous commitments required for successful family life.
For a first time mother I must admit it is a jolt to the system and you start to question what have you done to yourself?. To trap yourself in a 24/7, no holidays, sleepless nights, unruly colleagues (your kids) situation. But all is not lost, if you take heed of the following steps you are sure to turn from a wimp into an earthly motherly goddess.
Step One
Lower your expectations when it comes to house and yourself. At least in the first year, it is not a must that the silver is constantly polished or that every crook or corner is spotless. Even though you will miss them, rethink having your weekly manicures and pedicures or getting your hair done at the drop of a hat.
You are not going to turn into a medusa-like creature without your regular visits to the salon. The happiness you feel from being a first time mother will bring out the true beauty in you.
Step Two
Make sure you eat healthy, for if crap goes into your body crap comes out meaning you won’t have the boundless energy needed to look after family. Say ‘NO’ to the stray doughnut, eat healthy to make you feel good which in turn will make you happier.
Step Three
Try and take occasional breaks from your children. Rope in unsuspecting friends and family and take a few minutes away from your little ones. You won’t feel so overwhelmed and these few minutes will help you reenergize.
Step Four
You might feel you don’t have time, but do not forget to nurture other relationships. Try and have a date night with your husband and not talk about the kids all the time. Get together with old friends when possible, you will be amazed at how a simple phone call from a friend will brighten your day.
Step Five
Be organized and set routines. Even though you are one of those people who hate routines, trust me your life will be simpler if everything is organized. If your children have to be in bed by seven, then make it compulsory and stick to your guns. This gives you free time in the evenings and rested kids the next day.
These are a few steps to get you started on the journey of Motherhood. It is not easy and more treacherous than you anticipated. You will have to face the fact that those beautiful bundles of joy you bring home will turn into moody teenagers who scream ‘I hate you, Mum’ at a mere hello from you.
Which makes you think I sweated blood and tears for you do I deserve this? Not to worry this will all pass and in your old age when you look back you will realize that whether you have accomplished momentous feats like made millions or saved lives, bringing up your children is the single most important thing that you have done.
Your children are your love, your life, they validated your existence for living. Do not be a wimp, be bold and brave and grip motherhood in both hands and have the time of your life!!!
By Mayuri Jayasinghe
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