When we first set eyes on our new baby we experience a wondrous rush of love filled emotions that are priceless. We live to serve, protect and nurture this child till our dying days.

However many children you have, this feeling never changes and with each new addition our love for our children never wane. How does an older sibling feel when you bring home a new brother or sister.

Do they feel the same?. They now have to share his or her parent’s time, love and attention with a screaming bundle of a baby, that can’t even play or talk to them at the moment.

Would they feel as receptive to this sudden disruption in their otherwise perfect lives’. With four children at home, my children were quite used to me bringing home a new brother or sister.

Infact a new addition was not really a decision made in consultation with them, but one they had to accept when it happened.

Though saying this none of them really acted out in bad behavior or was aggressive towards the younger sibling. Infact, despite the fact that my baby days are over, my son still asks for a brother, so that he can have an ally against his sisters.

But some children are not as receptive. I have friends who have stopped at one child because they say their child refuses to have a sibling, or there are others who are finding the transition into multiple child parenting very difficult, for after all it is double or even sometimes triple the hard work.

But it is imperative that children do not grow up alone they need another ally in this hard world called life.

Here are ways to help your child cope with having another sibling:

1.    Once you find out you are pregnant, involved your older child in much of the pregnancy as possible. Get then to feel the bump, take them to doctor’s visit’s let them listen to the baby heartbeat and take them on shopping trips to prepare for the baby.

These are sure fire ways to win over even the staunchest anti-sibling followers.   

2.    During your pregnancy period the focus is of course on you and the unborn child, This might make the older child feel quite jealous with all this extra attention and constant chatter about the unborn child.

To avoid such situations make it a point to constantly chat to child about his or her day activities that are going on etc. If major discussions have to be made about the unborn baby do them when your older child is not around.

3.    Once your baby has arrived them you need to change tactics slightly, depending on the age of your older child, you can’t expect them to help you with the baby if they are only two or three themselves.

You can possibly get them to bring you diapers, towels etc, but during the first few days it might be better for a relative to have them over for a few days until you get settled.

Otherwise you might be asking your older child to stop touching baby or to settle down and keep quiet etc, this might not be received very well and your older child will start to resent the new addition.

4.    Constantly talk to your older child about how great it is to have another brother  or sister, explain to them about the good times they will have, the never-ending friendship that will blossom throughout the years and how blessed they are to have someone just like them.

Having one child is not easy, more than one raises the stakes in all aspects. But to give you child a sibling is the greatest gift you can give them.

My daughters have sisters and also a brother, our house is filled with laughter and fun, they might occasionally squabble, but my children have each other and when my time has passed I will feel comforted that they are there for each other.

By Mayrui Jayasinghe