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There are essentially two types of relationships; ones that last and those that don’t, granted most relationships qualify under the same category and there’s almost always a good reason. Relationships by nature are not naturally designed to last. Long lasting relationships are a part of what makes us human and is observed in very few species aside from humans.
Under the perilous circumstances a few relationships are the ones that last and even then there are wrong reasons why they survive aside from love. Relationships based on money are a common sight in western societies and have given rise to slang terms like “sugar daddy”.
Some relationships are based on social value and perception and are sometimes referred to as “trophy wives”. The common factor in both these types of unhealthy relationships and others that fall in the category are that the woman and sometimes the man in reverse often settle for things that aren’t ideal in terms of love but are in ideally convenient.
While some women settle with the man knowing fully well why she’s settling, some other women settle and the man has no clue about it. While there’s no sure way to tell what her feelings for you are, there are some signs to look out for.
Logical but never passionate
Love is a matter of emotions and passion, very rarely is love logical. If love was logical Romeo wouldn’t have given Juliet a second glance. If you find your conversations being discussions of logic in place of passion, heed the warning bells. Logical relationships often well planned and very rarely find themselves out of place but they lack that all important spark which sets love ablaze. This is not to say that these relationships are not enjoyable for both partners but they lack an important element of love; attraction.
Routine
Surprise gifts, romantic getaways on the spur of the moment and unplanned midnight skinny dipping are the kinds of things people do when in love. They get caught up in the moment and are happy to be whisked away by the wonderfully rapid tides of true romance. If routine seems to be the foundation of your relationship and she's not too bothered about experiencing new things with you, that's because she only wants to marry you. There is no need for romance when you settle.
Talks of marriage
If she talks of getting married and settling down but she doesn’t really spend a lot of time with you nor make an attempt to do so, it’s quite clear that she just wants to be married not necessarily to you. Some people are in love with the idea of being in love and very rarely are they actually in love with anything or anyone else.
Awkward fillers
If all you seem to do is go grocery shopping and having sex in your time together and if awkward silences fill the rest of your time together, why exactly are you together? Relationships require that the two of you have much in common. If time spent together is spent conjuring excuses to leave each other’s company, she’s settling.
Jaded
Being jaded means a lot of things, some people are actually more pessimistic, I’m not talking about them, just because someone thinks the glass is half-full, it doesn’t make her a jaded lover. Some people are jaded to love in specific. Women are romantic creatures, if you come across one that is genuinely convinced romance isn’t her thing, all common sense says she isn’t romancing you.
Parenthood turns her on
If your 3-year-old or even the thought of a baby are doing better things to her that you can pull off in bed, the relationship is more on the lines of settlement than love. Parenthood does bring out the maternal instincts of women but if she’s in it just for the children or the prospect of them, what does that spell out for you?
Functional sex
If sex is rare and occurs more as a gesture of courtesy than with any real passion, it’s pretty obvious that the romance is dead. Sex is an expression of love and one that is harder to fake than people are led to believe, imagine sleeping with someone you’re not really into, if that’s what she treats you like in bed, she has settled for you.
By Dilshan Senanratne
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