Do your children appreciate you?

Parenting indeed is the most difficult vocation to find oneself in. You tirelessly do all for your children, only for them to turn around and say “You ruined my life” if you say they can't have any more ice-cream. Yes it hurts to hear those words spoken out of the mouth of the child you have foremost on your brain from the minute you wake up until the time you go to sleep at night. As parents we do all for our children, I have started many a day at the crack of dawn, cranky and sleep deprived to carter one of my children to their latest sporting interests, spent copious hours till I'm blue in the face blowing a hundred and one balloons, because my child wanted a balloon themed party.. oh and it has to be pink. Yes you poor troubled parent you can relate to my frustration and vexation. As dream makers, wish granters, makers of chocolate brownies we make all our children's dreams' and desires' come true. So what do we expect in return?...My motherly list is endless, from clean socks to combed hair I could fill volumes, but the foremost on my list would be respect and appreciation.

Last Sunday was Mother's Day and every social media in existence was awash with individuals appreciating their mother's in a public forum, many of the said mother's not even being on Facebook, Instragram and so forth. But it was still heart warming to see those emotional words and phrases, my children also did their bit, they bought chocolates which they ate and some of my younger girls made me lovely cards that melted my heart. Yes I felt special and I wallowed in their appreciation, but why is mother's day just a day, why can't it continue on each and every day, not with momentous gifts of appreciation like discounts at the Colombo hotel buffets or buy one get one free pizza deals. Why can't our children forgo the tantrums, the eye rolls, the screeches of refusals, and just understand that we are on their side, we will always be their one and only cheerleaders so listen to us, agree with us, just appreciate us, us Parents.

You're asking to too much you say?..but it can be done. We can raise children who are kinder, grateful and more appreciative of us and everyone in general. Here are some helpful suggestions:

1. As parents we always trying to raise our children right. I have always said that my children don't have to achieve worldwide success, as long as they are good decent people I will consider myself a successful parent. This training we do won't see results over night. Yes we teach them manners, we explain about showing empathy, kindness, being caring and so forth, but you won't see results in the short term. Accepting that will numb our disappointment a little, children have to be gently reminded everyday, and in due course your advice, your words of wisdom, will be their inner conscience.

2. Children can also become ungrateful  if you over indulge them. Giving your time and attention is quite a big sacrifice in our already busy lives. A child who already gets plenty will just want more. Parents are at a loss because in their eyes they are attending to their child's every whim, and why should that child be unappreciative. In these heated moments it is best explain to the child how unreasonable they are being, as calmly as possible and take it from there.

3. Of course showering your children with material goods rather than your time does not build respect either. You need to work on your quality time with your child for your relationship to grow. Children become astute to their behavior and as they get older, it is curtailed based on the love and respect they have for you. So it is imperative to get it right in the formative years to reap the future benefits.

It is indeed very difficult to accept your children's unappreciative behavior, it makes us angry and the whole incident snowballs into chaos. Taking into account the above suggestions, work on it, don't always resort to punishments, talk to your children, show them your love. A parent's love will always calm the troubled child. Do your children appreciate you?

By Mayuri Jayasinghe