Life Online - Sri Lanka's Latest Lifestyle Food Factor Fashion & Beauty Updates-life.lk -

Chasing the Dream

May 21 2013.

As parents we dream ‘BIG’ for our children. From the moment they are able to take two steps without falling, we think future dance star in the making, warble a few notes and we are calling the neighbors over for a repeat rendition, at one year of age being able to repeat the letter ‘A’ back to us and we are googling how to send our child to Mensa.

This is all accepted behavior. I would ask no less from any Parent. Our children dream the dreams and we are the dream makers. Yes I

agree as parents we contribute financially but what I am referring to is the magic that makes their dreams our true. After all there was only one Michael Jackson. He was the greatest dancer and singer that he was because of the drive and determination of his parents.

Beyonce Knowles, a current superstar, despite being an adult still has her mother accompany her to every performance, and I am sure every Olympian, Actor, Musician out there has to thank their parents for being their rock in those trying and testing moments when their dreams were about to go up in smoke.

But being the dream maker is a tricky role to play. For at which point does it become your child’s dream or your own. You cannot live vicariously through your children. Yes you do want the best for them, but not at the expense of loosing your child. When does nurturing become pushing?

Here’s are some tips of not turning the dreams into nightmares:

As your babies grow into children they start to show interests in activities which bring out their naturel talent. Some like to swim or others are lost in music. Explore every interest your child has, send them to lessons and get them tutors. But as time progressives, it is your responsibility to select what your child is good at and help them achieve the maximum from it. Each of my older children display different talents, my son enjoys music thoroughly, he loves to sing and religiously practices his instruments but my daughter on the other hand pursues other activities of swimming and dancing. I would never force one into the other.

If you are unable to figure out what your child should pursue, maybe you’ve ended up with the smartest apple in the barrel, the one who excels at all. Talk to their teachers, it is humanly impossible to pursue every interest to fruition, wean out what best works for your child and you.

By experimenting with many interests you run into the risk of a child who doesn’t concentrate on a single activity. Children needed to be guided for sometimes they are unable to see the big picture, they would rather go for tennis than swimming because their friend from school will be there. They are after all children, we need to take that naivety and dispel the confusion and keep them on the right path.

Sometimes your child will just be mediocre and that is perfectly fine as well. Yes your daughter might be good at ballet but she’s not really prima ballerina material. This is not the end, if she still enjoys dancing then entertain these interests, but accept the fact that endless hours of practicing will not suddenly turn her into one. You might have the dream, but you can only make it come true half way, the rest is up to the child.

When children are forced into activities that they their parents enjoyed but they show no real talent, you infact demoralize them and kill their self-confidence. They do not enjoy failing at their goal however much their strive for it. Be realistic in your expectations.

With four children at home you can say I’ve raised my odds in getting at least a dancer, singer, high court judge or world saving scientist. As their mother I look on in pride as they start their life journeys with big grins and bucket loads of confidence.

Whether their dreams are about being Superstars or train drivers or just stay at home mothers, I will always be the one standing in the sidelines applauding with ferocity. They are my children and I am their mother, they have made MY dreams come true.

By Mayuri Jayasinghe